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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eye-Sight Frictiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Me Rambling
    Elite Ratio:    5.91 - 279/319/51
    Words: 285
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 1162
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1778



    Description:
       I promise this isn't completely random.

    You can either attempt to figure it out, or just pass it up as another piece of writing lacking flow/rhyme/purpose/gay flowers/love/razors/poetic structure/whatever.

    Good luck.

    -- Rob


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEye-Sight Frictiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You can't follow words that aren't connected with a lover's beat. Chaos held in denial; blasphomy softly spoken in contempt; pressed against the soft fragments of concrete; diseased beyond the repair of beauty.

    Give up for no one loves you. Self-pathetic are those wallowing in would-be pity, but you receive none; does that make you angry, little one? Lash out at those around you who's care extends no further than a smug smirk.

    Touch guidance and don't ask for my statement of question. Receive unto yourself; given from the hand that took everything; speak what you hear and remain ignorant to reason; scratch away your patience to even try to comprehend.

    Write it off as random ramblings from one who can no longer converse with themselves. Click around until you relate to simple confusion; portray knowledge finer than the angst in-which it was received; claim sympathy for those whom have lost --

    only to be found.

    Lament in joy for personal conviction; blast another rhyme with no sense of direction; eat up the flavor of yesterday's flow; spin silence and plead your eye-sight friction; boggle your frown as you beg different diction; can't be right if your book says (k)no(w)...

    right?

    All that's left in the end are shameless mutters and gurgled hopes of being wrong about truth;

    this truth:

    your problems are on their own.

    He who isn't there is the one in-which you find solace and care; proclaimed to be the powerful of the minded-weak --

    or the weak-powered, mindful(l) of _ _ _.

    *Don't tell me what I need.*





    Submitted on 2005-01-28 05:18:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmmmm
    You are a very
    compelling writer! I love the imagery and
    just the sheer potentcy of the
    words and the way you arranged them.
    You are definitely a real talent with great
    power.
    Love to you poet!

    Wynne
    | Posted on 2005-03-21 00:00:00 | by Wynne Devereaux | [ Reply to This ]
      Insightful,
    Compelling,
    Powerful,
    Simplistic and
    Complex.
    You are the proverbial [censored] poet!!!
    I'm diggin this piece to no ends.
    Thank you for sharing it.

    Wynne
    | Posted on 2005-01-29 00:00:00 | by Wynne Devereaux | [ Reply to This ]
      every verse has alot to say..you are truly straight forward and and had plenty to say
    I like this going to add it ti favs.. no matter who it's about. ty never mind why
    | Posted on 2005-01-29 00:00:00 | by wildheart | [ Reply to This ]
      Most will dismiss it as exactly what you mentioned above, I'd conject, but it's far beyond that. You're a deep person - a really deep person, at that. Did that come naturally to you when you were writing it or did you have to work at it to get it to that point? Your structure is amazing and near perfect, save for a few very minor spelling and punctuation answers (which one can easily dismiss when considering the quality of the work.) If anyone says that it lacks flow, then they're telling a complete lie, as some of the sentences are artfully structured. If one knows even the basics of grammar, the sentences flow as smooth as honey (please pardon the cliché, but I didn't have anything original on such short notice?). Sentences like "Self-pathetic are those wallowing in would-be pity, but you receive none; does that make you angry, little one?", for instances flow well. This submission has an abstract air to it when being read and you really have do dig deep to get its full meaning. Or, to tell the truth, to get the meaning I got from it. The nature of submissions like this allow people to draw from them their own perspective. You've handed it to them or, rather, us, in great detail, though. And now, since I'm sure you're getting sick of reading what I'm writing...if you've even read this far, I'm going to stop praising you now and just add this to my faves.

    Oh, and please do forgive the length of the single paragraph, as I'm at school, am running out of time and didn't want to take the time to space it into individuals paras. It's fine as it is, I believe. Now, this time for real, I'm going to stop my rambling.

    ~James "Alexian" Neal
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by alexianx | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    5. Which parts?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    44195

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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