Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let Me Bedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Poetry/I hate you
    Total Views: 651
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 295



    Description:
       I wrote this to a girl in my Group -home. i was very angry and still am.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet Me Bedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dying in the shadows,
    Of my own dark memories.
    Screaming in my mind,
    "Why won't you please just let me be?"
    One day soon I'll kill you,
    And one day soon you'll see,
    That when you were around me,
    You should have let me be.




    Submitted on 2005-01-28 12:09:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Short sweet and to the point.I liked it.Nice ideas and organization.Very relatable.Get some of this poetry published woman!lol later
    | Posted on 2006-02-06 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very interesting write you can read your anger in the words and you say: and One day soon I'll Kill you, very point blank I like your style but I hope that you don't feel that way and now, a really good poem I like it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow that was really deep I liked it alot because I have someone that makes me feel that way from time to time and [censored] Dante you better off without him
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by lexdakid265 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm .. yes i would say ur pissed.. i mean that girl musta done some bad [censored] to piss u off cuz i mean u say u wna kill her..ha ive been there..oh wait i already amm some stupid [censored]es jus drive me crazy..i love it tho short n sweet n gets right to the point
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      Not the best I've seen by you, but definately not bad. Very expressive, like your other work. I think that every poem Ive read by you involves killing somebody...you're evil aren't you? (not necessarily a bad thing) Anyways, I like the rhym scheme, But my only suggestion is that It could have been longer. I mean...I like being teased but not when Im reading. Have you ever had sex with a guy, and he finished right when you were getting into it? He didn't last long enough? Anyways...what I'm trying to say is that your poem is awesome...butit didn't last long enough...SAM
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for ur nice comment of my poem, The Promise, i read your poems too, wow! you're very good and you have already writtten a lot, I just started writing recently, I hope i could be as good as u or learn from u... I'll read more of your work.. very nice work, and I like this one too, you are just very honest with your emotions.
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by chatters | [ Reply to This ]
      lol I know this isnt suppose to be funny but I just get an image like from Tom and Jerry. Tom pestering Jerry until hes floating on a cloud playing a harp with a pissed off look on his face.
    Well I dont wanna piss you off because I like living so I'll just say this read very nicely.
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]
      Very angry, and very expressive, I think I would be afraid if this was directed to me, gonna have to stay on your good side,
    N-ways this was a very nice poem.
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      hey! thanks for the comment on my poem innocent child. your right, it is about child abuse...i can never stress how horrible child abuse is...and now that brings me to your poem! i like it, its short but sweet. it tells me that people, possibly other students were mean to the character and they wouldnt leave her alone. that made the character feel really bad inside. i think thats the idea you were trying to get across...but fi theres more to it by all means, do tell!
    good job!
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    44237

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry