[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Wishdots

    Author: grigori
    ASL Info:    23/M/St. Lucia
    Elite Ratio:    4.3 - 77/68/18
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 796
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Wishdots

    I wish I could cry over you,
    For the things you've done to me,
    And while my friends laugh at me,
    I'd love you for all to see,

    I wish I could cry for you,
    So you'd know how I feel,
    And even as I look so strong,
    I wish I could hate you, for real,

    I still wonder why I can't sleep,
    And why you're in my dreams,
    Cause every time I close my eyes,
    Seeing you breaks me at the seams,

    It's even hard to write for you,
    Or about you in this case,
    And loving you never helps,
    And will never stop,
    Even as I wish it,
    Beat by beat...

    Submitted on 2005-01-28 21:43:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yeah i liked this...She must of got you good ...Anyway ..this was great ...simply worded and strong enough to really express your feelings ...Great job
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      damn, man, that's heavy. i can feel that...i've got the same thing going on...i wish i could tell you it get's better.
    as for the poem it's self, i like how your lines get shorter at the end...sort of like desperation. it was a cool piece.
    | Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]