Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trying to Forgetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 302
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 701
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1904



    Description:
       Umm...basically just wrote about having someone leave you. You still love them...you still want them..but you know letting go, and forgetting might just be the best thing...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrying to Forgetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Everything I am
    Is everything you are
    You're love is here with me
    Though your body so far
    Here in my heart
    Are all the words you ever spoke
    You opened my eyes, freed my love
    Changed my life, my soul you awoke
    And now you linger
    Refuse to go away
    You found your way into my heart
    And there you seem to stay

    Inside of my head
    I hear your voice
    I don't want to listen
    But I, I have no choice
    Deep in my soul
    I feel your touch
    Please don't do that
    I already miss you so much
    My lips still carry
    The taste of you
    You won't leave me alone
    Do I haunt you too?

    I lie in my bed
    And you come in my sleep
    I'm falling apart
    My love is so deep
    Everywhere I look
    I see your face
    All I have left
    Are the memories I need to erase
    You're doing your best
    To make this harder on me
    You're not even here
    You don't even see
    See the pain I'm going through
    Emptiness, sorrow, wounds they say will heal
    But how am I to know for sure
    That you even feel all that I feel?

    So don't you see?
    This is why
    I have to let you go
    I at least have to try
    I don't hear
    You're voice anymore
    You're touch means nothing
    You lost me, when you walked out the door
    I can learn to block out my dreams
    Shut off my feelings, have a heart of stone
    Maybe then
    You will leave me alone

    Must you insist on doing this to me?
    I'm not completely broken,at least not yet
    Please stop coming back into my life
    I, my love, am trying to forget.







    Submitted on 2005-01-28 21:48:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This piece you have written are, pretty much, the exact words that describe my life at this moment in time.

    Despite the fact that my ex-boyfriend and I broke up about two years ago... I still have deep feelings of caring for him and his family. I've been desparately trying to get over him. Even to this day... I am still having trouble. Like you have said in this piece of yours:

    To make this harder on me
    You're not even here
    You don't even see
    See the pain I'm going through
    Emptiness, sorrow, wounds they say will heal
    But how am I to know for sure

    ...that is how I feel.

    The way that you delievered the words really made this piece great. The basis of this piece can reach almost all people... that's good. However, if you had made it a bit more personal... instead of quite so general, it probably would make a bigger impact. That's just my thoughts though.

    I still got a lot out of it anyway. I hope that I get over him soon. I still love him. I do. I just want to forget these deep feelings though. I want to feel this, as you have written:

    I don't hear
    You're voice anymore
    You're touch means nothing
    You lost me, when you walked out the door
    I can learn to block out my dreams
    Shut off my feelings, have a heart of stone
    Maybe then
    You will leave me alone

    Thank you for the read. It brought back some things, but I was glad to read it.

    Take care.
    *smiles*

    Crystal
    | Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by purely_complex | [ Reply to This ]
      it is a beautiful write. I think that this first stansa is a little confusing and it could use a littke work , but other than that i think it is very beautiful. i loved the part about turning our emotions off and shutting out your dreams, those lines really spoke to me, i like them a lot. I know you pain hun. I feel it everyday, like a stab in the stomac twisting your heart and soul. Yeah it sucks. Beautiful write.
    ~Shadow
    P.s. thank you for reading "my insanity over you." i loved hearing from you.
    | Posted on 2005-12-18 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]
      That was beautiful. I wish I could get to that place where I can let him go. But I can't, yet. And I try so hard. And it's been almost five months. I'm sorry, I go off on a tangent. This one is very emotionally affecting for me. I feel all this so deeply. It was truly touching.
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    44333

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry