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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: so much as the samedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PastelSky
    ASL Info:    18/F/In the clouds
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 181/223/49
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 895



    Description:
       I don't normally lowercase my compositions (especially in the titles and at the beginning of the lines), though for some reason, I felt it just had to be lowercased in this poem.

    As for the meaning of the poem, perhaps you will perceive it, it is about how death is just the beginning, living and accepting death as a part of life, etc. The speaker can be recognized as a mother talking to her child. However, I'm willing to read different perceptions. Perhaps you readers picked up something different?

    I was aiming at something not quite melancholy, but at least a tad hopeful... did it seem like that after you read it?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsso much as the samedots
    -------------------------------------------


    i will die today,
    little one.

    the flowers will not wilt,
    however,
    no matter the long time passing.

    people will live,
    walking along lover's lane,
    and wars will continue.

    technology encompasses
    in an everlasting hoop.
    do mind my apple, please.

    in turn,
    i will die today,
    but life will go on,
    forever.

    for every pinecone that falls,
    only new seeds
    will shower the ground.

    the world will keep on turning,
    people shifting so much as the land,
    growing,
    changing,
    repeating all the same.

    life will not end.
    do not be sorry.
    do not be angry anymore.
    it's okay.

    i will die today,
    little one...

    but this is not the end.




    Submitted on 2005-01-29 00:39:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I have no problem with this being sad, or your overplaying that idea. Losing someone is not pleasant, but we live through. I think what I'm missing here is an idea that the child can relate to. Why not, that her mother will always be there watching over her, or that they will be close even though her mother's physical presence is gone. what you've done is good and while it seek to explain, a child's imagination is a fertile ground to plant a comforting idea. Which is a valid, one, I think. Making the child and her feelings the center theme of the poem.
    Nice job, thanks for sharing,

    nansofast
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      reading this made me feel a bit sad really. i know youre trying to give hope in this by saying life goes on, but its a sad reality to know that one day you will be one of those headstones that have just mingled in with the rest. obviously you dont want your loved ones to dwell on the pain of you dying but at the same time its knowing that everything youve done in life and everything that meant so much to you will be long gone as life moves on.
    anyway i like the poem itself its just kind of depressing. i can actually vision a mother on her death bed saying this to a child that is shattered.
    | Posted on 2005-01-29 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]


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