The Coffee Girl by _proper_noun

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: The Coffee Girl dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	_proper_noun_
ASL Info:	20/m/OK
Elite Ratio:	5.39 - 106/87/23
Words:	181

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Love
Total Views:	321
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1154

Description:
This started out as me talking about how much I love coffee, and I referred to coffee as a girl, thus was born the "Coffee Girl." I decided to write a song about it. I think it's kind of humorous, but in a way it's kinda sad, cuz the guy can't even talk to her. If you can't tell, she's supposed to be some sort of hippie rocker chick.

The Coffee Girl dots

-------------------------------------------

I'm in love with the coffee girl,
With pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl.

Stains on her shirt, she doesn't care,
Still looks good with her rock 'n' roll hair.
Faded blue jeans with fraying flairs
She looks so good with her feet so bare.

I'm in love with the coffee girl,
With pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl.
Picture this now: a princess' crown
On the trailer park beauty, if you can.

Tender smile and a coffee pot,
Who ever knew that would look so hot?
Walks up to me to pour a drink,
My head is dumb, so to speak.
I let her leave without a word,
If I could have spoken, you know I would.
And she's gone, for today,
But you know, I've gotta say:

I'm in love with the coffee girl,
With pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl.
Listen to this now: I'm a man.
Tomorrow I'll tell her, if I can.
'Cause I'm in love with the coffee girl,
With pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl.

Submitted on 2005-01-30 23:21:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Im a coffee drinker and this coffee girl rocks! I think that the stains on her shirt could be reasonable because she spilt some coffee on herself while pouring, but the bare feet doesnt make any sense. Some rhyming patterns were a bit incoherent, but I figure with music it cant go wrong...This was a fun read, and even though the thought behind it is basic, I really liked it, especially the name.
| Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by jcpdandalice | [ Reply to This ]
  My only problem with this is the stained shirt and bare feet, serving coffee. I can't picture where this would actually happen. The coffee shop management, and the Health Department would surely bust her for working like that. Other than that, this seems like a simple, honest expression of a common experience for a guy -- there she is, can't talk to her... The music that goes with this would make or break the piece for me -- wish I could hear it. -)
bent
| Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by bent | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought it was a decent write. I liked that it was discussing having feelings for someone who you see all the time, instead of someone who is very unlikely to ever recripricate the feelings. I must say, though, I like the lyrics of being in love with the coffee girl, but honestly, how can you be in love if you haven't ever spoken? I would suggest changing it around a bit so that the piece is talking about the girl as an aquaintance, someone you may have converstations with but whom you haven't ever been able to tell how you feel.

Also, I read the description, and nowhere in this piece did I see it as being an ode to coffee. But, I guess you did say that was how it started out, but then changed. I'd really like to hear whatever the origional was.
| Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by ebflannery | [ Reply to This ]
  this is cute...in a good way maybe thats not the best word to use but its to early to think of something better...but i could really see this as a song...the lines are great...sooo...do you have any music to it yet or just the lyrics...just wondering...i love the lines ...

i'm in love with the coffee girl
with pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl...

very catchy...makes me wanna sing it...without even looking i would of thought it was a song...i don't really think its cliché...i think its one of those catchy type writes alot of people would like...thats not cliché...but i'm babbling like a moron...just wanted to say i liked it...purps
| Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
  argggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [censored]. sorry but these lyrics are just cliché enough to make a pretty little song, so good in such a terrible way. if it makes sense later
skilless[censored]
| Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm in love with the coffee girl,
With pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl.

what a great chorus! i wish i could hear the music behind this. i think it would be rather melancholy, maybe with a slight country tinge to it. me likey!!
| Posted on 2005-01-30 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  "'Cause I'm in love with the coffee girl,
With pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl."
So hot.
My brother's girlfriend drinks so much coffee I could die. And I have a love hate thing with coffee. I <3 your chorus so hard. I would listen to this so much. omg.
"
I'm in love with the coffee girl,
With pretty brown eyes, wrapped up in pearl.

Stains on her shirt, she doesn't care,
Still looks good with her rock 'n' roll hair.
Faded blue jeans with fraying flairs
She looks so good with her feet so bare."
So good.
| Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

44624

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]