Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Novemberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AutumnLeaves
    ASL Info:    26/f/ Cyprus
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 95/103/44
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1116
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 668



    Description:
       Theres something strange about November...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNovemberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    November kills,
    with a sweetness and a softness
    I cannot embrace.
    There is something
    in the fragrance of November
    that follows me in the streets,
    dwells like a presence in my rooms,
    and waves,
    through a suave movement of the curtains.
    November lives,
    and scatters around heartbeats
    I cannot silence.
    My November nights have a pulse
    but lack a breath,
    as I sense the wind is incomplete.
    The atmosphere trembles at my sight
    and I hear November sing.
    Reveals his voice, releases his words
    with a sweetness and i softness
    I cannot embrace.




    Submitted on 2005-01-31 18:00:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Mmm...my mind cannot completely get a grip on every idea presented...which is probably why I enjoyed it so much... I mean... I love the idea of being somewhat lost, in a sense, and...hard to describe but I feel like you did a completely wonderful and awesome job doing it. I like it so much I'm adding it to my favorites. Now I'm feeling slightly jealous that I didn't write it....Oh well. PEaCe!

    -LucyDiamond
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
      i usually leave a comment first and the fave a piece, but apparently i was in a rush when i read this originally and have since forgotten to come back. =]

    this both starts strong and ends strong; i like how even though the middle meat of the piece was bookended by the same thoughts, they evolved and metamorphed in their meaning and tonality. there's a innocent wonder here that reminds me of a light-eyed Orlando Bloom in the lord of the rings movies, just the way he looked at things as if he was seeing what no one else could see.

    a highly original and evolved piece - it felt very polished and absolutely certain in the word choice/placement and the images created by them. have you had this published yet? it should be, it's amazing.

    with a sweetness and i softness
    - perhaps you meant "a" softness?

    thanks so much for sharing this with the rest of us and sorry i wasn't prompt with my return. =]

    ~Blue
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure what it is about the ordering of your words but it seems that. almost without a conscious effort I manage to wind myself up when I'm reading them.
    Maybe it's the actual words used and the almost haphazard way they seem to have been chosen - barely fitting in with the more pedestrian ones around them.
    Whatever.
    I like this too.
    I think it would make for a good exercise for everybody to write about the month they dislike the most - for me it would be March I suppose.
    The last three lines sum this up quite succinctly and that inability to go beyond nodding terms is quite telling.
    Nice one.
    K
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      Personally, November is my favorite month. It's right before Christmas with the leaves changed and before the real hard winter hits us. There really is something about November for me. Not only my birthday by the way. LoL Which is the 15th of Nov. ;) But yeah back to the write, I enjoyed your view on it. This is my favorite part,
    "My November nights have a pulse
    but lack a breath,
    as I sense the wind is incomplete."
    I really enjoyed this write. I'm making it a favorite because I love November so much and I like the way you interpert November. :)
    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write. The imagry is vivid, and the feelings are very easy to relate to. You show successfully how the month of November makes you feel.
    | Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by ebflannery | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an amazing peace. Well writen and expressed. Smooth and soothing beautiful imagery and perfect liknesses. I do agree with you November is strange. It is also my favorite month. The tital November caught my attention for this very reason. The thoughts depicted here descride November to the fullest. . .It's simple in it's complexness. . .I love it!
    | Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how it is, I like this poem, it is very original and yes I know how you feel about november...it was always a strange..yet soothing month. My only critique is this really wasn't a poem so much as a very good piece of imagery.
    | Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by wordslinger | [ Reply to This ]
      this was one of your best writes so far. this is the worst month in the year for me and never seems to have a a resting moment. It always follows you around like someone is there but no life to be found. i have never had a good november for about as far back as i can remember i have always lost a family member or friend and have the worst charma. last year was going good then my girl friends dad died then she moved away then left me...so yeah.

    I enjoyes this poem thank you again.

    ACE
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    44758

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry