[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: razors (revised)dots

    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 661
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 870


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsrazors (revised)dots

    This razor owns me
    Iím a teen age fiene
    slitting my wrist so fast
    the blood is still blue when it hits the ground
    Iím not proud at all
    but it relieves my pain
    yet, Iím still checking my pulse
    Iíve hit rock bottom
    running away
    trying to drink all my problems away
    I just wish I could fly away
    yet, I stay here
    slitting my wrist so fast
    the blood is still blue when it hits the ground
    this razor owns me
    getting chased bye the cops
    getting shot bye the tazers
    some times I feel possessed and
    I can't control what I do
    sitting in my room
    slitting my wrist so fast
    the blood is still blue when it hits the ground
    this razor owns me
    and I can't do anything about it
    some one rescue me please.

    Submitted on 2005-01-31 18:57:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      its a good poem, i like how its free verse yet you still repeat some rhymes, however it seems to me a bit simplistic, unless you wanted it to be that way. good write, keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by throughmyvoice | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very sad poem! i cut myself sometimes2! if u need someone to talk to my AIM sn is RPprincess91! this was good! good job!
    | Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      i know how you feel... i used to cut but not as much anymore... i hope you do get help... believe me... it works

    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by shattered_dream | [ Reply to This ]
      If I could rescue you I would. I know what this is like and I need rescueing...but I think the only person that can save us is ourselves...the only person that can stop is you...someone may be able to help but utimatley...you have to make yourself stop. I know how it feels like it's controling you...and very hard to not give in...I don't know what else to say to try and help...I hope things turn out okay...well...about the poem...This is a very sad subject...but a wonderful poem. I like how you repeated things..it flows well...I really like it.
    | Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Bond written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Incubus written by monad
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]