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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Closed indots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Akai_Ame
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 223/181/46
    Words: 260
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Happy
    Total Views: 681
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1602



    Description:
       It is my first song so be kind... (and no i have never been in trouble. this is for all my friends that must live in ISS. lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClosed indots
    -------------------------------------------


    Still tryin to find away,
    How to stay out of trouble.
    My Freedom ain't comin no closer,
    No matter how hard i try.
    It seems i can't stay out of trouble
    And i get closed in.

    They won't stay off my case (and i get closed in)
    They won't stay off my case (and i get closed in)

    Headed up to the office,
    Back with 4 or 5 detentions.
    You can tell I'm on fire
    Ready to runaway.
    Not much progress,
    So they have the nerve to kick me out of school.
    What ever should i do?

    All i do is try to find away,
    Not to be in trouble.
    Yet to just be myself.
    Wild and free,
    Without a care, in me.
    Doin what i wanna
    Just because i can.

    Bein yourself can be hard
    When you have enemies and hatters
    Trying to ruin you. Yah.

    Still try to find away,
    How to stay out of trouble.
    My Freedom ain't comin no closer,
    No matter how hard i try.
    It seems i can't stay out of trouble
    And i get closed in.

    They won't stay off my case (and i get closed in)
    They won't stay off my case (and i get closed in)

    I guess i'll never find my way...
    So till my dying day...

    I'm ganna:
    Get into trouble
    Be wild and free
    never have a worry anywhere in me.
    And do things that i wanna do.
    Just to be me.....









    Submitted on 2005-01-31 19:47:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey this was pretty good,but there were some things in there that turned me off.Like when you say ain't,and hatters.Experiment with diffferent words and see how it goes.
    | Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by ColdinSummer | [ Reply to This ]
      Good? Bad? Let me know what you think about it so i can make it better. It is my first try so i am unsure as to how it is. If anyone knows a way to improve it PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

    Ja Ne
    Akai_Ame
    | Posted on 2005-01-31 00:00:00 | by Akai_Ame | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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