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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "LEAP OF LIFE"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 890
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 490



    Description:
       This is totaly deicated to taking that grand step out of idle!..~m


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"LEAP OF LIFE"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My own Death is toyed with.
    But my Life I keep.
    The pulsating intentsity of the stare down,
    and then the Ultimate Leap.
    Falling helplessly to the ever so closer
    ground.
    The quickening pace of my heart is the only
    sound.
    Will I understand Death.? I really think not.
    I chose to do this I almost forgot.
    And before I jumped I asked the Lord,
    To give Me courage and bless the bungee
    cord.......BOING!




    Submitted on 2005-01-31 23:23:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I was afraid to read this to tell you the truth-not another suicide write! Thank you for making me laugh out loud, instead of the battered.bloodied body of a leaper, I found a very much alive bungee jumper , going "BOING".

    The rhyme works well because it is comedy, and you do a fine job of keeping the ending a surprise. I think The Ultimate Leap would also be a good title, and I also think this would be fun poem to play with the formatting, -spacing the lines and words to complement the content.

    Thanks for submitting, this was truly well written and fun to read.
    Silver
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      wonderful! marvelous! i really love this. it is just so honest and refreshing.

    I chose to do this I almost forgot.
    And before I jumped I asked the Lord,
    To give Me courage and bless the bungee
    cord.......BOING!

    just great lines! thank God for the bungee chord, eh? well done. well done!
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      LOL! This is great! It has such a wild sense of humor, but blatantly a deeper meaning may be taken! Absolutely histerical and a great read! My only concern would be about how you set up the rhyme. The last set is different from the others and sort of throws it off. Below is a few suggestions I've made...take 'em of leave 'em.

    And before I jumped I asked Him,
    Lord,
    Please give Me courage and bless the bungee
    cord...BOING!


    That way it matches up with the way you've set it up in the previous lines. But like I said, just a few suggestions that you can totally ignore. Anyhow, kudos on a terrific poem. I really enjoyed it!
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by I_Bleed_Ink | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I see the connection. This is about risk-taking and my poem was also about risk-taking, but there is a difference. I wrote about the risks we have to take to survive, you are talking more of risks for kicks. Sometimes in life you don't have to seek out the danger. It comes and sniffs you out wherever you are hiding. Arthur
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey thats cool that you are in a punk band, I don't listen to much punk but I do like it. Mostly like old Slayer, misfits, dead kennedys, l7, not much. But I do like it, especially live shows. Anyway the piece is very cool too. I think bungee jumping would be a blast, good thing writing about it. Just makes us all want to do it more. You seem to have captured it well. Good job. -sin
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by sinmore | [ Reply to This ]


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    44832

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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