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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Never Endsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890/865/108
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 909
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 962



    Description:
       Just woke up this morning with intentions of writing, this is what I got out of them..,


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNever Endsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Drops of blood leak from my heart
    as puddles of tears drip towards our part.
    I miss you darling
    touch tender kisses
    as the razor blade embelishes in my vulnerability.
    A rythmic beat jumps across my chest
    I see your image, always at your best
    I hear your forgotten laugh
    while the blade penetrates
    my eyes tightly closed
    the needle and burning, easily bait.
    Remembering your smile
    and the names you'd call me
    More than love, I hate
    You, who pained my time well spent
    You, who murdered my soul less content.
    And here I sit, at the river end
    watching my blood trickle and descend.
    Seeing those eyes and hands
    seeing them fade,
    as the water begins to near
    and my body I cannot feel.
    Opening my eyes of jade
    one last good bye
    as I drowned
    you watched over me
    all the way down.




    Submitted on 2005-02-01 11:08:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very good poem. Very sad indeed and speaks of heartbreak so very well! It also captures the classic love/hate feelings very well. It is amazing how powerful our emotions and feelings can be and especially when someone steals your heart. The love is awesome but if it ever ends, it is painfully devestating. This one says to me that even though he knew you were hurting, he did nothing but let it happen. A very heartfelt and sad poem indeed. Good imagery throughout this poem. You really allow the reader to become involved with what you are saying. Very well done. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sad but written absolutely beautifully
    You showed incredible imagery in this poem
    I really felt like I was there with her at the moment she commited suicide
    It really captured a nerve
    Please continue to write as your poems are very powerful with true real meaning
    Take Care
    Ron

    Please if you have a chance take a look at some of my poems and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      great write* i can't comment on much here, it left me without words. wonderfully described feelings here. i like this one very much**
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
      that's the kind of piece that leaves people speechless...honestly it did. i can't wait to read more of your writings. this one just made me go gasp and left me wanting more. awesome write
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      crazy awesome, do i have to say more? well i guess i do, since the computer wont let me post this cause its too short. ok, the rhyming was awesome, it didnt seem forced or uncomfortable at all. i loved the ending, but it was what lead up to the very end that made it beautiful. nice job!
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by trmbngrl | [ Reply to This ]
       , its sad but i like it, it seems to catch my atention quite well, i hope to read more of this sort of thing from u, great job and keep it up :D
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]


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