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Drops of blood leak from my heart as puddles of tears drip towards our part. I miss you darling touch tender kisses as the razor blade embelishes in my vulnerability. A rythmic beat jumps across my chest I see your image, always at your best I hear your forgotten laugh while the blade penetrates my eyes tightly closed the needle and burning, easily bait. Remembering your smile and the names you'd call me More than love, I hate You, who pained my time well spent You, who murdered my soul less content. And here I sit, at the river end watching my blood trickle and descend. Seeing those eyes and hands seeing them fade, as the water begins to near and my body I cannot feel. Opening my eyes of jade one last good bye as I drowned you watched over me all the way down. |
This is a very good poem. Very sad indeed and speaks of heartbreak so very well! It also captures the classic love/hate feelings very well. It is amazing how powerful our emotions and feelings can be and especially when someone steals your heart. The love is awesome but if it ever ends, it is painfully devestating. This one says to me that even though he knew you were hurting, he did nothing but let it happen. A very heartfelt and sad poem indeed. Good imagery throughout this poem. You really allow the reader to become involved with what you are saying. Very well done. Take care. Lorna ![]() | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] | Very sad but written absolutely beautifully | You showed incredible imagery in this poem I really felt like I was there with her at the moment she commited suicide It really captured a nerve Please continue to write as your poems are very powerful with true real meaning Take Care Ron Please if you have a chance take a look at some of my poems and let me know what you think Thank You Ron | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] | great write* i can't comment on much here, it left me without words. wonderfully described feelings here. i like this one very much** | | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ] | that's the kind of piece that leaves people speechless...honestly it did. i can't wait to read more of your writings. this one just made me go gasp and left me wanting more. awesome write | ![]() | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ] | crazy awesome, do i have to say more? well i guess i do, since the computer wont let me post this cause its too short. ok, the rhyming was awesome, it didnt seem forced or uncomfortable at all. i loved the ending, but it was what lead up to the very end that made it beautiful. nice job! | | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by trmbngrl | [ Reply to This ] | | ![]() ![]() | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ] | |