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    dots Submission Name: You my Lord my lovedots

    Author: lynn7
    ASL Info:    43/ St. Augustine, FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 419/288/103
    Words: 659
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 913
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1325

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    dotsYou my Lord my lovedots

    I linger in silence
    with only myself to blame
    twitching my fingers against
    a broken window pane
    when I look outside I see
    you standing there with your
    Radiance glow
    my mind cannot handle the
    depths of this pain
    my soul only hungers for your love
    I cannot go on living this lie
    that holds me in my assistance
    you show me so much
    and yet I have not learned a thing
    how far am I from becoming the
    Stranger that awaits my awakening
    I have received your gift
    the one that haunts me through
    the depths of time
    I give all to you
    I will never be able to rest
    I will never be able to live
    you my Lord
    my love

    Submitted on 2005-02-01 13:55:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I totaly understand this poem! the formant and structur could use a littel work, but you have your feelings aready out anf the is what is most important when writing.
    your emotions flow through your pen, but once there out you somtimes have to do a littel revising. good job!
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by borkenbuterfly | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is a very nice piece also. The structure is slightly confusing. But, I do that all the time, so I'm not really one to talk.
    Very nice though. Keep it up. :)

    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by xXxAlicexXx | [ Reply to This ]
      That was Beautiful, you really love the lord, I encourage you to look at my poem "My Death" i think you could relate. Sure we look forward to the time we go home but god has placed us here for now and he is that master of time, use this time to serve him.
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by borkenbuterfly | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it i can relate keep writingi hope to read more of your writings i loved it it rulz your really talentedi hope your other writings are like this
    | Posted on 2005-02-01 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey keep writing! you got loads of potential there. The poem is a bit "Brontish" hehe. but i really liked it especially the first half. good good:) read of some of my stuff if u like id be glad to hear ur opinion
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by neonlights | [ Reply to This ]

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