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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dublhelix
    ASL Info:    18/m/perth australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 43/36/15
    Words: 271
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 249
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1553



    Description:
       a rap i was working on.... coments please...its set up so the emphasised sylable is at the start of the line.....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Verse 1:"im searching for a paradoxical equivalent,
    a realistic meaning for life, for pain and strife,
    for a reason for all of this, for angst and bliss,
    there has to be something..... for as i walked down the
    street today, i saw the children play, bringing
    joy through the things they say....

    CHORUS:
    theres got to be a reason. for as lifes pleasin...at times its hard....for if this god of yours is to ever be mine he has to find a way to make it shine....theres got to be a reason...for death and pain, for light and rain, for night and day, a use for us on earth.....are we for amusement or re-birth...theres got to be a reason..."

    Verse 2: "its strange. the way that ive been living it,
    focus on monetary aspects of the kickin it,
    its been fun, but not forfilling in the ways,
    ive been focusing on now and the turnin of days...
    im searching for spirit, for a thing to beleive in,
    as my life is fluid, and my mental state is thin,
    so, please, me a meaning to live....
    help me, whos out there, dont take but give....

    CHORUS
    theres got to be a reason. for as lifes pleasin...at times its hard....for if this god of yours is to ever be mine he has to find a way to make it shine....theres got to be a reason...for death and pain, for light and rain, for night and day, a use for us on earth.....are we for amusement or re-birth...theres got to be a reason..."






    Submitted on 2005-02-02 05:32:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like your work. I could relate to it. If Keep searching for the meaning and have faith you'll find it.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]
      Look at verse 2 "forfilling" should be "fulfilling"
    On a whole this was pretty good. A bit different than the rap I'm used to hearing as far as content goes but it works well. You might look at the length though. Generally rap reads longer than other genres because it reads fast and you enjamb your words to fit the beat. It needs to be at least 3 minutes with the beat or music background.
    jan
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]



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