Hmm...Short and deep... This is a good writing... Your portrayal of wanting to break someone or hurt them to see how low they can get... I can really sense a feeling of anger and pain here...
For a selfish purpose I will Break you to know How very low Your confidence Can reach
This is my favorite stanza...Good writing! .Caleb.
i have to say that is very intoresting i liked the set up and the idea behind it. i have never read anything like this one before on this site. good work lia
Well, I like that this is written from the opposite point of view than I usually take (I usually write from the point of view of the person being abused over the abuser).
I Will follow For the sake Of a hollow Hollow cause I will
I like the repetition and rhyme there. Repeating "I will" makes it more emphatic, and hollow makes it more powerful.
For the sake Of knowing how you feel
For a selfish purpose I will Break you to know How very low Your confidence Can reach
That kind of hits close to home (and the bone) because my father (and my grandmother) verbally abused me, and I've never understood it. I've never been able to put someone doen to make myself feel better. I just feel guilty. I think it's made me a walking blister (I'm that sensitive).
Thanks for this interesting and disturbing look at the other side of verbal abuse.
I enjoyed this....maybe because when i was reading it .... I couldn't get the picture of your eyes out of my head...( if those belong to you ) deep and dark like the words written down.... thanx for the write.. if you like poems like this check out my poem called halo and horns...
This is one of the sadder things I've read of late. I want to write a screenplay about this character...well written and hauntingly lovely somehow...nice little rhymes and repetition, and then the unexpected end where you'd expect "Can go" you kinda taunt the "Can reach" depriving us of the rhyme. Clever.
Submission Name: Deceit
