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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Jessicadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elitegundam
    ASL Info:    25/M/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 68/90/20
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 241
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 958



    Description:
       I wrote this poem for my Girlfriend (Jessica) after she read all my depressing poems and told me to write a poem for her, and this is it. Let me know what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJessicadots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lost in the depths of your eyes,
    we gaze at each other.
    Time starts to fade away,
    all I can think of is you.
    Slowly moving closer together,
    lips locked in eternal bliss,
    I reach up and run my fingers
    through your silky strands of gold.
    Slowly caress your angelic face,
    your soft and lovely cheeks.
    After time has lost all meaning,
    hours come and gone,
    reluctantly we part again.
    Lazily our eyes reopen,
    protesting the sudden light,
    we look at each other
    with love in our eyes.
    My eyes stray from the sea of color,
    the rings of fire igniting my heart,
    and I see your beautiful face.
    As your loveliness fills my sight, I think
    of how each day you capture my heart anew.
    The words come to my mind again,
    I dare not say them aloud, yet,
    but all I can think of is "I Love You!"




    Submitted on 2005-02-02 10:23:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Awwwwwwww *sob* ....that is so sweet ...She must adore that poem ...I dont know what to even say about that ...It flowed well ..and the descriptions were perfect ...but mostly it was just filled with so much love and affection ....Meh ....I love it
    Good job
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn, after reading this I would date you, and I'm a hetero male. Great job. If I had this kinda mojo working, I'd be beating em off with a stick, instead of beating off. Umm, just a little joke? :)

    I can't think of a thing to improve here... it's the perfect length, its great. Jessica is a lucky lady.
    | Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so romantic...what a lucky girl to have such a sensitive caring and devoted boyfriend. this piece just screams with adoration. great choice of words. i liked My eyes stray from the sea of color, the rings of fire igniting my heart,
    that is classic, nice job
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn! I hear the music playing in the background. You got that first night pimp fluid in ya dawg. That's a deadly weapon to have. You have a hard time getting real of girls when you break up with them, right? Me too. That's some Love Boat, Titanic type romance. Keep doing what ya doing.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes this is very romantic... You excel in your writings both depressed and love... Jessica is lucky to have a guy like you. And if you want to hold her in the palm of your hand...Just keep writing this kinda stuff to her... She'll be all over you... Keep up the good work bro.
    .Caleb.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent piece... almost the style of Pablo Neruda, except written in english.
    don't be afraid to go nuts with imagery tho'. such as: "My eyes stray from the sea of color,
    the rings of fire igniting my heart" go into detail more. like "my eyes dove into this sea of color, basted in the glory of your own" etc.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by Icaruslotff | [ Reply to This ]
      Is Jessica the one you wrote your other poem about? I liked how you said running ur hand through her silky strands of gold good job enjoyed it!
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by grinninggashes | [ Reply to This ]



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