[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Betrayal From A Frienddots

    Author: grinninggashes
    ASL Info:    17/f/from sumwhere :)
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 154/124/25
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 1256
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 605

       As you can tell this is about friendship and me and my friend..well i dunno how to explain what happened but she wasn't being honest or anything with me about something..and it really hurt

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBetrayal From A Frienddots

    Betrayal from a friend
    usually causes
    pain in the end

    Sneaking around behind my back
    is like going swimming with a fresh open wound
    and waiting to get attacked

    I will find out in the end
    how you were lieng to my face
    and not being a true friend

    A friend is someone who should be honest and fair
    you broke those rules
    and it doesn't seem like you really care

    Just promise to tell the truth and not lie
    I'm going to stop writin this
    so I don't break down and cry

    Submitted on 2005-02-02 16:46:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I realy like this poem. The rymes flowed nicely and it wasn't forced. I don't know what I would do if my best friend lied to me. We tell eachother everything. I'm sorry about you and your friend. I hope that someday everything works out.- - Oli
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm....I'm not feeling it so much....I didnt think it flows too well.....but at the moment that doesnt matter...all that matters is what you felt well writing it and what it helped to work through, if anything at all. I know how it is to have a friend lie and cheat behind your back and it sucks....it'll get better
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it it was honest keep up the good work i hope you and your friend work everything out. i know it sucks when friends fight but you gotta talk to eachother about it and work through it so good luck w/ that
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by Beccaboo | [ Reply to This ]
      that was a good poem though it didnt flow at some pionts but ya i know what its like to have a friend betray you in more ways then one it really sucks so i have learned to choose my friends wisely from that
    keep up the awsome writing
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by setsuna | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey i am sorry to here about the dishonesty. It sccks when friends betray you.

    Sneaking around behind my back
    is like going swimming with a fresh open wound
    and waiting to get attacked

    I loved those lines. Its so deep adn strong adn emotional. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by Widget | [ Reply to This ]
      well i enjoyed this piece a lot, but i think you have a typo- frieng should be friend, no? i like your style and your rhyme scheme- if not for the typo messing me up it would have flowed perfectly. well done there. im sorry to hear about your friend and whatever it was she did. condolences. good write anyways.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]