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    dots Submission Name: Sweet Sun Shinedots

    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 35
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 211


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    dotsSweet Sun Shinedots

    As a waterfall trickles down
    a slope of rocks
    I stop to listen to forget
    about clocks
    As the Sweet Sun Shines
    through my mind
    We all are one
    though one of a kind

    Submitted on 2005-02-02 18:53:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like the part about forgetting about clocks. If you think about it, they control our lives, in a way. They tell us what time to wake up, what time we must be somewhere, what time we must go to bed...
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
      Very simple and sweeet, kinda hippie-esque i think. I like the last rhyming couplet...makes a nice little cohesive ending there. I really like this as is, but i think it would be pretty cool as a haiku or something, maybe because i relate nature with them. It's great because it tells a simple truth at the end.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by etheariac | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this ...People can ramble on and on trying to explain one thing ..or one feeling ...and you do something like say ...

    We all are one
    though one of a kind

    that ...and it blows my mind ...It just seemed like the core of the poem there...It's very pure and primitive ...

    I love it ...Good job
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]

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