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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: true lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lynn7
    ASL Info:    43/ St. Augustine, FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 419/288/103
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1106
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 410



    Description:
       Just a simple love poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstrue lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I love to see the
    light on your face
    to see your eyes
    sparkle with peace
    you hold my heart
    deep inside
    i'm wide open
    from you I cannot hide
    you are my gift from
    up above
    my friend and
    my true love
    I once almost lost you
    but I've found my way
    you were patient
    you did not stray





    Submitted on 2005-02-02 19:11:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love to see the
    light on your face

    from you I cannot hide

    I love the relationship between these lines.
    Love, :) All smiles right? And so innocent when it first begins. Just as you have described, but more than innocent and radiant, faithful, for as you described

    I once almost lost you
    but I've found my way
    you were patient
    you did not stray

    I think this is really important about true love.

    Thanks for sharing this piece.
    | Posted on 2014-12-20 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a delightful love poem. Its innocence and simplicity add to the effect of the poem!

    It needs a little attention to meter to make the rythmn more consistent and flow better. Only a few words or changes would need to be made to improve the flow; here is a suggestion:

    I love to see
    the light on your face
    to see your eyes
    sparkle with peace

    you hold my heart
    deep inside
    i'm wide open
    I cannot hide

    you are my gift
    from up above
    you are my friend
    and my true love

    I nearly lost you
    but I've found my way
    you were patient
    you did not stray
    | Posted on 2010-08-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it short but i like the way u use the word sparkle. Its so sweet that must be a special person in your life
    -garnet4david-
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by garnet4david | [ Reply to This ]
      This was like: YAYYYY!!!

    Originality++
    (now that i've spent 5 min tying to think of constructive criticism, i'll go on a happy note: Sweet and Keep it up)
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Dalja | [ Reply to This ]
      That was heart-felt. Short and sweet, right to the point. I liked it. It could have been a little more attention-grabbing, but I still like it!
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good. It was short ,sweet and simple. Whoever you wrote it to must be a special person in your life.Good luck And nice job. Enjoy reading it
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by Sun Spots | [ Reply to This ]


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