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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: shellsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LLRDD
    Elite Ratio:    2.44 - 28/42/19
    Words: 324
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 268
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1606



    Description:
       this is a repost with some edits and added lines


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsshellsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One more time the shell washed ashore
    I grasped it tightly in my palm, not letting it float away as somethings often do. I gazed at its fine lined ridges, running my finger over it softly. As if not to break it. Beautiful, and so very fragile, like most love turns out to be.

    I looked away from my shell, that i loved so dearly. I was stopped by the sun, mighty but not blinding, this time. It stained the ocean like a orange drink spilt by a child. a smirk came upon my face as I was enlightened by its beauty. I realized i have felt something i have not felt before. I was happy

    I stood there, confused, why have i not felt this before? I stepped closer to the water, unlike th sand before, so soft and so warm. This sand became me, cold and coarse. I liked it, it was familiar. My feet crack the sand leaving prints, I smiled when it did. A smile which has never been seen. I stepped away only to see it washed away, along with the pain of teenage immaturity. The ocean tounting me to do it again. A game i played, as it became my friend. But finally the time came for the tide to wash in.

    the water is now more violent, the calming clash of low tide waves and cold puddles left behind are gone. gone like me and gone like you.

    walking away

    my eyes surveyed the ground it left behind. More shells and cold hard sand. The sun still doesn't blind and my feeling is now more welcome.

    i threw my shell back to the ocean only to see it washed in by the first set of waves. I am happy.




    Submitted on 2005-02-02 22:32:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is really good, I absolutely love all the imagery... the only bad thing is, to make an impression on someone, you have to have a good format aswell, you gotta go back and fix your errors, it takes the beauty out of such a well written piece... I really like this, you just need to polish the edges... It is a deep piece... I am proud of you for writing it.
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      deep. is this a poem or a random thought? if its a poem...segmentation into lines and stanzas? i liked it though. i never seem to feel that way anymore...although i once used to./
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by dublhelix | [ Reply to This ]



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