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    dots Submission Name: The Flowerdots

    Author: Dana
    ASL Info:    23/F/Dreamland
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 79/87/26
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 967
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1137

       It's more like a prose, but I wrote it as a poem. It's about helping some lost soul...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Flowerdots

    She comes into the dusky room
    Everything seems to be lifeless
    Thereís only one flower awaiting
    Abandoned on the rocking chair

    The flower is more dead than alive
    Without a sparkle and the light
    Waiting for a splash of water
    So lonely and so feeling thirst

    Its beauty hasnít ceased yet
    It needs some helping tender hand
    She takes the flower easily
    Like a fragile newborn child

    She brings it slowly outside
    To the river and into the daylight
    Pouring the water on it, singing a song
    Till one petal starts falling down

    The flower stays the same
    No power of nature can help
    Itís already dead and gone
    Only warm tears can resurrect

    She feels it with her soul
    She is desperate and deadly pale
    The teardrops born in her eyes
    They start falling down on her hand

    The brilliance of her soul
    The warmth of her crystal tears
    The lifeless flower is awake
    It starts to live a new life!

    © by DANA 2004

    Submitted on 2005-02-03 09:26:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow...^__^ i can see the dusky room, someone, a beautiful woman, like an elf, entering there and it's all so hopeless and then she comes and takes the flower that she wants to resurrect and takes it to the river but the flower is still lifeless and all hope seems gone and she starts to cry and then wa-zaam! the flower wakes up again. definetely a lost soul finding its way back home. lost and found;>> the message is so strong and the atmosphere is so caring and sweet. like a dark cloud with the little silver corner. very beautiful. the hopelessness reminds me of myself 'cos i'm kinda hopeless right now: i just got a 60euros fine for not paying the tram ticket. for god's sake, just once when i forget it i get caught! isn't there any fairness in the world anymore?! damn. but yeah, great poem
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by _taateli_ | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, I really like this, you did a fantastic job, and the thought behind the words stands out... I can see a young girl, maybe a ill girl, anorexic or something, alone, and holding a dying flower, and I love the part where you say only warm tears can ressurect. that is great stuff... excellent job.
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]

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