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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Locked updots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 590



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLocked updots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm locked up
    In between these 4 walls.
    there is nothing I can do
    These medals doors that hold me prisiner.
    Keep me from seeing the outside world.
    The problem lay within me in my colds heart
    I can't see the outside world
    i'm locked up
    in the inside
    i'm locked up physically and mentally
    my whole life is locked up now
    i tryed to step up
    but i got blamed
    for something i didn't do
    but i can't be belived
    because i lost the beholder of truth with in me




    Submitted on 2005-02-03 14:02:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this. I kept wanting to read lockED up instead of lock up. So it messed me up a bit. But I don't think there is really anything to critisize about this. I didn't see any typos, but everyone has typos. newho. NIce write!
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]
      "i'm lock up
    i'm lock up in the inside
    i'm lock up physically and mentally"
    When you wrote this you didn't have to put 'i'm lock up' after you put it in the first time for people to understand makes it a little bit shorter but i still really liked it
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by kickthekitty | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this poem. It is reall good and I think you have a talent for writing. I can see the talent in your writing. You should use your talent and keep writing. This poem reminded me kind of about myself and the way I feel.
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by sarahthegreat | [ Reply to This ]


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