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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "STALK-HER"-(revised)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 853
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 974



    Description:
       Dedicated to all the psychos of the world. Out of sight, out of mind...I/I


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"STALK-HER"-(revised)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I see you.
    my minipulation, a crime.
    Together...
    yet only in my mind.
    You turn quick,
    you swear someones there.
    Feel it. Feel me.
    Feel my stare.
    Dont you see?
    You do love me.
    It's not just in my mind.
    Dont be the girl no-one will ever find.
    About your friend Tim.
    We wont be seeing him again.
    Our love is power.
    I know you know.
    Everyday in the shower.
    It's a show
    you do for me for about an hour.
    I touch myself dreaming,
    my hand is your hand.
    Imagination, so deceiving.
    Can you feel my love for you?
    Can you feel it throbbing inside you?
    From now on, I want you to know.
    I am with you,
    wherever you go.
    I am within you,
    deeper every day.
    You wont see me, (Baby you're so pretty.)
    and I'm never going away........I^I I I<E





    Submitted on 2005-02-03 14:28:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      really creapy. considering that i basically have a stalker right now, that's so creapy. so, how do i get rid of u??? it's pretty awesome. i noticed a few gramatical/puntuation errors, but it's good.
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      creepy doesnt begin to describe this. its like feelin a cold breath on the back of your neck and jerkin around and seeing no one there. dude this is just...freak-ay. you did a very good job capturing the mind of a stalker.
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]
      Well It did what you wanted. The little hairs on my back that an orgasm can't even get up stood up with goose bumps. You the guy in my nightmares. I cry that you'll stop bothering me. Your obession will never be reality so find someone to love you . IT's not me...
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by mandy dupuis | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah ... I think that was kind of creepy. Ha, but I guess that's the idea hey? But ... as far as the writing goes I think it's okay.

    I couldn't really follow the rhyming scheme very well, but that could just be me.

    I haven't read many pieces on this exact topic so that is definitely a plus (on originality).

    All in all ... I say good job!

    Still
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by StillimCold | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is twisted man. It's like you've got some obsession with this girl you watch but never even know. It's cool though, it would make a good short story if you expanded on it. How does he know her? Who is she? WHy the obsession.? Anyway, you gotta good one here
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by spoken | [ Reply to This ]


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