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Author: thor_s avatar
ASL Info:    18/M/Ar
Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 237 /233 /70
Words: 152
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1541
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1070


Just felt like writing something that is hopefully haunting and moving.


through dark ruins of empires spent
monuments to failure
I wander on with deep rage pent
I wander, ever wander

ivy choked walls
and crumbling halls
legacies of doom
cold wind blows
and darkness flows
but all is silent as a tomb

monuments along tenebrous paths
caressed in darkness deep
on them written epitaphs
of kingdoms laid to sleep

but I wander onward still
over dale and shadowed hill
every single step i take
on these dark and hallowed grounds
into the opressive silence sounds
I'm witnessing the wake

one last view of glory failed
splendor become decayed
my anger rises, unpent, unveiled
that such great things could be unmade

but as for them, thier time has passed
nothing here was meant to last
darkness will draw them in
Into obscurity they will fall
great empires that once had it all
and all will start again

Submitted on 2005-02-03 20:12:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  You write with potency and description. I like the use of your wording in your poetry.

The descriptions you use in your writes are vignette. You sketch a painting in your words.

Glad you lead me to this peice. Would have hated to have over looked it.

| Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
  I love your rhyme patterns! You have quite the skill with the rhymes! Makes me think of the fantasy and sci-fi books I have read because they almost always seem to have ruins in them. Anyway, great write!
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
  this is really bad I think and feel this way today.. you really know how to capture your readers. you succeded in doing just what you aimed for.great writing.
| Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by wildheart | [ Reply to This ]
  as my friend soulraven said, what you say here rings quite true. the piece was most enigmatic, only revealing its theme in glimpses, and i find that takes a special talent. reading a couple of your pieces, i think im gonna keep my eye on you. i think you have the ability to stun with your words, so keep at it and your manifesto will come out. keep good rhymes alive says i. i hold a special place in my heart for that. keep it up.
| Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
  in the first stanza, it's spelled wonder. i really like the rhyme scheme in the second stanza, though. you spelled it wander again in the fourth stanza. makes a depressing cycle, though...empires crumble and are rebuilt, only to become decadent, and crumble once more. i don't quite understant your wondering....seems like you are just an observerer. a well structured and writen piece.
| Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ]
  Venust piece, All great things must be cut off or they can never become great how can anyone know what true greatness is if they don't have anything less than great for them to judge by? So, what you say is very true all must come to an end and then rise again. It's the chronicle of life. I hope to read more of your stuff.

Semper Fidelis,
| Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
  well i tihnk you suceeded in your writing it is quite moving im not really sure what it is about this but i think its awsome
| Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by setsuna | [ Reply to This ]

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