[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Ruinsdots

    Author: thor_s avatar
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ar
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 237/233/70
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1434
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1070

       Just felt like writing something that is hopefully haunting and moving.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    through dark ruins of empires spent
    monuments to failure
    I wander on with deep rage pent
    I wander, ever wander

    ivy choked walls
    and crumbling halls
    legacies of doom
    cold wind blows
    and darkness flows
    but all is silent as a tomb

    monuments along tenebrous paths
    caressed in darkness deep
    on them written epitaphs
    of kingdoms laid to sleep

    but I wander onward still
    over dale and shadowed hill
    every single step i take
    on these dark and hallowed grounds
    into the opressive silence sounds
    I'm witnessing the wake

    one last view of glory failed
    splendor become decayed
    my anger rises, unpent, unveiled
    that such great things could be unmade

    but as for them, thier time has passed
    nothing here was meant to last
    darkness will draw them in
    Into obscurity they will fall
    great empires that once had it all
    and all will start again

    Submitted on 2005-02-03 20:12:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You write with potency and description. I like the use of your wording in your poetry.

    The descriptions you use in your writes are vignette. You sketch a painting in your words.

    Glad you lead me to this peice. Would have hated to have over looked it.

    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your rhyme patterns! You have quite the skill with the rhymes! Makes me think of the fantasy and sci-fi books I have read because they almost always seem to have ruins in them. Anyway, great write!
    | Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really kool.to bad I think and feel this way today.. you really know how to capture your readers. you succeded in doing just what you aimed for.great writing.
    | Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by wildheart | [ Reply to This ]
      as my friend soulraven said, what you say here rings quite true. the piece was most enigmatic, only revealing its theme in glimpses, and i find that takes a special talent. reading a couple of your pieces, i think im gonna keep my eye on you. i think you have the ability to stun with your words, so keep at it and your manifesto will come out. keep good rhymes alive says i. i hold a special place in my heart for that. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      in the first stanza, it's spelled wonder. i really like the rhyme scheme in the second stanza, though. you spelled it wander again in the fourth stanza. makes a depressing cycle, though...empires crumble and are rebuilt, only to become decadent, and crumble once more. i don't quite understant your wondering....seems like you are just an observerer. a well structured and writen piece.
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ]
      Venust piece, All great things must be cut off or they can never become great how can anyone know what true greatness is if they don't have anything less than great for them to judge by? So, what you say is very true all must come to an end and then rise again. It's the chronicle of life. I hope to read more of your stuff.

    Semper Fidelis,
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      well i tihnk you suceeded in your writing it is quite moving im not really sure what it is about this but i think its awsome
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by setsuna | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]