Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pure Passionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 677
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 672



    Description:
       Simple, honest first impressions are sought


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPure Passionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pure Passions

    Like two wild creatures are we
    Acting upon ageless instinct
    Our intertwining is inherent
    The passions seethe
    A coupling of souls

    We devour the other's heat
    Existing in limbo
    As the symphony of nature
    Is enhanced by our music
    Time wanes languorously

    This desire is mutual
    The feelings are intense
    A cacophony of feelings
    Too strong to ignore
    We are conjoined

    As others have felt
    As others have known
    The raw passion is unbridled
    The urge is pure
    Massed desire is endless




    Submitted on 2005-02-04 07:38:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wooo...*fans self* ..that was hot, sweet, romantic, passionate ...all in one ...great use of words without making it sound like you had a dictionary shoved up your nose at birth ....I loved it ...good job
    | Posted on 2005-02-06 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm...that made me think...it had such an undertone of sexual flavor...yet more of a intense raw passion...with very different words.
    Well done

    This desire is mutual
    The feelings are intense
    A cacophony of feelings
    Too strong to ignore
    We are conjoined


    very well done indeed :P

    thanks for the read
    kelly
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      That's actually not my style but it was good writing. Obviously you're a romanticist and the ladies do love guys like us. By the way, i'm Brian Collier and keep doing what ya doing.
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      It's not bad, it was written well. I guess it's just not my kind of poem. IT seemed more like one of those poems you have to read in your LA class and explain it and all that. As i said, it was very well written, your use of language broad, but the thing in itself, i guess just not my style or to my liking.
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the intimacy you conveyed in the write without being crude with the imagery. This is how mutual affection and passion should be expressed, with depth.

    A quick grammatical fix on the first line of the second stanza requires an apostrophe on "other's" because of the possessive root.

    Well done.
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed this incredibly displays the passion and lust of physical contact with the person you love... I can also see unbridled desire and almost animal urges or insticts... A great writing.

    As others have felt
    As others have known
    The raw passion is endless
    The urge is pure
    Massed desire is endless

    Great stuff!
    .Caleb.
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      My first thought after reading this poem is unadulterated raw real passion, intertwined with a strong mutual connection.

    Keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    45370

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry