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    dots Submission Name: Pure Passionsdots

    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 728
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 672

       Simple, honest first impressions are sought

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    dotsPure Passionsdots

    Pure Passions

    Like two wild creatures are we
    Acting upon ageless instinct
    Our intertwining is inherent
    The passions seethe
    A coupling of souls

    We devour the other's heat
    Existing in limbo
    As the symphony of nature
    Is enhanced by our music
    Time wanes languorously

    This desire is mutual
    The feelings are intense
    A cacophony of feelings
    Too strong to ignore
    We are conjoined

    As others have felt
    As others have known
    The raw passion is unbridled
    The urge is pure
    Massed desire is endless

    Submitted on 2005-02-04 07:38:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wooo...*fans self* ..that was hot, sweet, romantic, passionate ...all in one ...great use of words without making it sound like you had a dictionary shoved up your nose at birth ....I loved it ...good job
    | Posted on 2005-02-06 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm...that made me think...it had such an undertone of sexual flavor...yet more of a intense raw passion...with very different words.
    Well done

    This desire is mutual
    The feelings are intense
    A cacophony of feelings
    Too strong to ignore
    We are conjoined

    very well done indeed :P

    thanks for the read
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      That's actually not my style but it was good writing. Obviously you're a romanticist and the ladies do love guys like us. By the way, i'm Brian Collier and keep doing what ya doing.
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      It's not bad, it was written well. I guess it's just not my kind of poem. IT seemed more like one of those poems you have to read in your LA class and explain it and all that. As i said, it was very well written, your use of language broad, but the thing in itself, i guess just not my style or to my liking.
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the intimacy you conveyed in the write without being crude with the imagery. This is how mutual affection and passion should be expressed, with depth.

    A quick grammatical fix on the first line of the second stanza requires an apostrophe on "other's" because of the possessive root.

    Well done.
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed this incredibly displays the passion and lust of physical contact with the person you love... I can also see unbridled desire and almost animal urges or insticts... A great writing.

    As others have felt
    As others have known
    The raw passion is endless
    The urge is pure
    Massed desire is endless

    Great stuff!
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      My first thought after reading this poem is unadulterated raw real passion, intertwined with a strong mutual connection.

    Keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-02-04 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]

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