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    dots Submission Name: nightdots

    Author: secretdream0
    ASL Info:    21/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 48/46/22
    Words: 35
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 904
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 227

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    luminous moon,
    cloudless sky.
    dawn will come soon,
    and the sun will be high.
    so cherish the dark
    and the silent night
    before the first song of the lark
    and the morning is bright

    Submitted on 2005-02-05 07:34:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hm, this is simple and i like it! i love the night time! i disagree with joey about your last 2 lines. when i first read the poem, i felt the same as joey, that they seemed too long, but i think they are appropriate: they break the rhythm of the poem the same way the first lark song and sunrise break the rhythm of the night. you do, however, need a period at the end. good job!
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      nice and short&sweet. i like when ppl can keep it short and still capture the emotions they are feeling. yet another good poem
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by kc | [ Reply to This ]
      very nice little poem. great imagery. I too have loved the night, but now have trouble staying awake past nine. oh well. to be young again-some days I don't feel all that old but I guess I am.
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a pretty good piece, though i think the last 2 lines need to be shortened a little to keep them in rhytm with the rest.
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your picturesque view of the night time, though I am a man of light. I can feel your passion for the night sky.

    Keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]

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