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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This evil breeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 624
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1368



    Description:
       just venting probaly makes no sense to any of you people.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis evil breeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    my evil deeds
    succeeds past the rich mans greed
    Iím just a evil breed
    can't you see
    this world has to be ruled by me
    Iím the greatest breed.
    I'm need to be locked up
    because of my evil deeds.
    want to see.
    I all wanted was to be free
    you didn't need to make me bleed.
    see you are the creator of this evil breed
    all you had to do is let me be.
    It's sad when you have to hide in the tree
    to escape the pain.
    You still don't agree
    that the creator of this evil breed.
    Is you
    Can't you see that I plea because of the pain.
    the blood stain is there waiting to be
    place in picture frame.
    For you to hang up
    To show the world
    how you make me plea for life
    and you wonder how
    this evil breed still succeeds.
    I can't feel for one
    who is the creator of this evil breed
    there going to be more of me
    if you don't change your ways.
    You just created satins spawn
    My evil deeds your going to hurt you
    but also myself.
    I know what I have to do
    I have to end this.
    All i got to do is say bye to the world,
    and hope the young ones
    Have a better round with the creator.




    Submitted on 2005-02-05 10:41:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Got is a boring word, also some other ones which you could find yourself. This made me feel as though I was reading lyrics from Slipknot. Other than that. I like the lyrics for Slipknot so this was pretty good. I get most of the feeling behind this. It would been nicer a little be shorter and more indepth. Hey, what do I know?

    abort...
    | Posted on 2005-02-06 00:00:00 | by Abort_Chaotic | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the feeling behind the poem; however, there are a few typos...and another suggestion...try not to use the verb "got"...its such a broad word
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]


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