[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: This evil breeddots

    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 671
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1368

       just venting probaly makes no sense to any of you people.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis evil breeddots

    my evil deeds
    succeeds past the rich mans greed
    Iím just a evil breed
    can't you see
    this world has to be ruled by me
    Iím the greatest breed.
    I'm need to be locked up
    because of my evil deeds.
    want to see.
    I all wanted was to be free
    you didn't need to make me bleed.
    see you are the creator of this evil breed
    all you had to do is let me be.
    It's sad when you have to hide in the tree
    to escape the pain.
    You still don't agree
    that the creator of this evil breed.
    Is you
    Can't you see that I plea because of the pain.
    the blood stain is there waiting to be
    place in picture frame.
    For you to hang up
    To show the world
    how you make me plea for life
    and you wonder how
    this evil breed still succeeds.
    I can't feel for one
    who is the creator of this evil breed
    there going to be more of me
    if you don't change your ways.
    You just created satins spawn
    My evil deeds your going to hurt you
    but also myself.
    I know what I have to do
    I have to end this.
    All i got to do is say bye to the world,
    and hope the young ones
    Have a better round with the creator.

    Submitted on 2005-02-05 10:41:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Got is a boring word, also some other ones which you could find yourself. This made me feel as though I was reading lyrics from Slipknot. Other than that. I like the lyrics for Slipknot so this was pretty good. I get most of the feeling behind this. It would been nicer a little be shorter and more indepth. Hey, what do I know?

    | Posted on 2005-02-06 00:00:00 | by Abort_Chaotic | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the feeling behind the poem; however, there are a few typos...and another suggestion...try not to use the verb "got"...its such a broad word
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    AI written by poetotoe
    Summer written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Every..... written by jackz
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]