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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Amourdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tears of Azrael
    ASL Info:    14/F/Lost
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 107/102/25
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704



    Description:
       My first free-verse poem...also my first love poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAmourdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love is like death
    You don't know
    how it feels
    until
    you've experienced it
    Trying to find out
    why
    we
    fall
    in love --
    just like trying to figure out
    why
    we
    die --
    is beyond our grasp,
    but,
    it's inevitable
    When people die, they can't
    "describe death"
    because they're dead
    Same thing with love:
    it can't be described,
    sometimes people die from it,
    but most of the time
    we're just wounded
    It bleeds us
    from the inside,
    and in the end
    it
    always
    hurts




    Submitted on 2005-02-05 12:02:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      oh, my. that is beautiful. everything you write is beautiful. a few days ago you added one of my poems to your faves list, so i thought i should read some of your stuff. i certainly was not dissapointed. i particularly enjoyed this poem because its an idea thats right under everyone's nose, yet i've never read a poem about it. well done.

    and by the way, what the person who commented before me said is silly. because you didnt even say what you were 'going through'. and i appreciate that, because it makes its soothing truthfulness more versatile. (most people can relate to 'love sucks' but not to 'love sucks because steve didnt buy me the right style of engagment ring'). once again, well done.
    -jinx
    | Posted on 2005-05-14 00:00:00 | by jinx | [ Reply to This ]
      i basicly agree with what dana said, its good for a first poem, but try to be a little more original and use more imagery when you're expressing yourself. and your title.. is it supposed to be amor, meaning love? b/c if so you spelled it wrong. Maybe its french or something, I don't know..I just thought I'd put my 2 cents in.
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by mandyshay07 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, this is something similar what I used to write earlier, but I understood that it's not a good way fo writing, I don't mean that it's a free verse poem, but the way you describe love...love makes us die, it hurts, our heart is bleeding and so on. But if it's really your first poem, then it's ok, of course, I used to write the same way. Love is truly a force beyond words, but it can be described...a little, but the most important it is to feel it.
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by Dana | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the idea and the comparisons you made in this. However, I don't think the format was as effective as you wanted it to be. Maybe try pulling it together and only dropping the meaningful words or phrases would be best. I do like the overall idea though. Just work with it and it could be really great. Right now it's just an okay piece. Nice job though. :)
    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-02-05 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]


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