Description: The tile pretty much says it all. This isn't a perfectly writen pome. This is just someing I wrote up that really describes me.
The story of my life (home) -------------------------------------------
Home
What is a home?
Is a house a home?
No…
This house is not a home
No one is ever here
The father is rarely in town
The mother is always here, but she is never really here
It’s always me
Just me
No love
No affection
It’s only me
Just me
No love no affection
This house is not a home
I am always alone
I sit in my room
I watch TV
I play video games
This house is not a home
This house is not a home
I leave
Go some where
Any where
Where is my home?
Do I have a home?
Can I have a home?
This house is not my home
Now I have nothing
I am empty
No love
No affection
All I have is an empty hole inside
I sit alone
Always alone
Should I just end it?
No…
If I end it now I will never have anything
I will always have nothing
No love
No affection
I must press on
I must find a home
This house is not my home
This house is not my home
"I will always have nothing No love No affection I must press on I must find a home This house is not my home This house is not my home"
This sums it all up for me.... and I still am journeying to find that home.... what little peace I could find before I knock out of a night is the only home I may ever own.....
Wow. I think that this expresses how many teenagers feel in our generation. And, unfortunately, I think that it is quite true. What happened to the American family? A mother, a father, and some kids. All in the same house, all eating dinner together, going to church together. What happened? My parents are divorced, so I have two houses, but often neither is home. Although this seems to be just one thought after another, it worked well. It flowed, it kept my attention, and most importantly, it hit home. No matter the structure, flow, words, grammer, etc., I will always believe that the most important part of poetry, and what makes it what it is, is its content. Beautiful job.
I really like your work. I understand were your coming from in this poem. I know what its like to sit around in a house alone and feel like you dont belong in it. Getting back to the poem, I like that even though this poem is dark the ending has a little hope that really balances it out.
mhera likes this(mhera is talking in third person today)you r so rite just cause there is a roof over yer head doesn't mean it's a nice place to b. cruds that sounds like mhera's house! cept she has a brother that wants to hurt her for his own sick amusement most of the time. mheracai
this was written fairly well...a little fine tuning wouldn't hurt. it feels more like a rant rather than a poem. i can feel the desperation and the longing but i think it could use a little more ...power.
I think you have described your situation, but I think poems about being alone and not quite at "home" with your self, need to be more of an unconsciences outpouring, like painting with your eyes closed. We all "must find a home".
I like It’s always me Just me No love No affection It’s only me Just me No love no affection This house is not a home I am always alone cause u expressing yourself very expressively...
I love the repetition in this. Sometimes it can get old but this really works well with the impact you want to give readers. You describe to us the bad, what you do when you are alone, and then that you don't want to end your life, you want to find a home. I like that because it gives a positive out of sadness. :) You don't want to be nothing your whole life. You want to try life out for a change. That's really great. This is a great write. Keep moving on. :) Great job! -blt
Submission Name: The story of my life (home)
