Too deep.
to ever outgrow.
What you keep.
Is all that you know.
Burning like coal.
It scars like kids.
Inscribed on your soul.
It's truly what is.
Now you've grown.
And now it's simple to see.
All your actions that were shown.
Were only to better the man that would soon be.
Hanging on your every word.
Everyting I listened to,
Eventually I learned.
I am a good man and Dad it's because of you. L.t
i read it twice the top starts out as neutral the middle as the receiver the end as another
its a great piece, i have been known to be wrong and refuse to take away from your scribes point but is it possible that either my dyslexia is not working and yours is in the narrative sense only please accept my apologies and explain if possible i could learn some thing by the way
escape from Manhattan priceless if you come back hope its just for a book signing or visit
simple and effective, like all the best, it was NICE, but im really not sure if thats what you want to hear...my thoughts however are that you could perhaps have split the last line to : I am a good man and Dad it's because of you
or something, and that its the kind of poem you get more from when you read it over again...which is not a bad thing at all, in fact its a great thing to be able to do. Theres that second level that the reader gets to when they have re-read the poem...good work A/B - sorry im a tough marker! ellisa
how sweet is this to thank your dad for making you who you are today. you should show this to him if you havent already. it would make a good fathers day present! you could put it on a plaque or something! very nice job lame!
aww this is really sweet i like it, i think it was one of the best poems ever dedicated to a parent i just felt that it really came from deep inside not just something you did to impress him. My fav line was "Burning like coal. It scars like kids." i thought it was just ironic how kids being life can scar someone, i see where your coming from and i think its cool. loved it
This poem is beyong anything I've ever felt in my life since I wasn't blessed to have a father to look back and thank for the gifts he gave me. Not that I'm old enough to be doing such a thing, it's just that it's nice to see that there are good fathers out there who impact their children in such a strong way.
Submission Name: "AN EMPTY CANVAS"
