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    dots Submission Name: Eloquent Condescensiondots

    Author: andrya
    Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 508/419/62
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1042
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 984

       Hmmm. Have you ever 'been' with someone who just doesnt know WHEN to be quiet? They talk but its just SO MEANINGLESS? yah. Well, its based on that. I figured some of you might find the humor in this.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEloquent Condescensiondots

    My words wrapped around your neck
    strangling every breath into short, erratic gasps.
    Sliding my hands up your thighs
    you shiver, and exhale.

    Panting, a whisper escapes your lips
    and grazes my ears like nothing.
    Poetically challenged, preview to no emotion
    for your verbal ineptitude stirs naught in my soul,
    but only for pleasure in my speaking-to.

    Tongue twirling delirium, move my hips
    into a slow grind, skin on skin,
    clichéd axioms, provoked sensations
    as individual as a fingerprint.

    Broken record symphony,
    with a brio of piercing notes
    penetrating through thick night air.

    Enticement, as the simplicity of your
    dialogue puts me at ease,
    knowing that you sense your own power;
    while I deliberately lead you to believe so.

    Consider this always;
    as your weakness is not up to me.

    Submitted on 2005-02-07 20:30:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I definately enjoyed the wording that you chose,
    and applaud you for the way they were strung together. There was great imagery that brought me in to the writing.

    There are some favorite lines of mine that caught me going back to read over and over..

    This is what brings me to my only suggestion.

    I think it would help alot of readers if you seperate each stanza. For some readers this might seem all crammed together, and that will cause them to not understand the full meaning of the write.

    You do have many fans! why not have more?


    | Posted on 2006-04-23 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. what vivid imagery! what power can our words have... power to entertain, entangle or even exhaust. its seems that there was a certain power in this piece. the person speaking seems to think their words are electric but you really know the truth. so in fact, the one with the true power is you.... like i said a power piece, electrically charged with imagery and clever indeed. keep writing
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Sacred Sindy | [ Reply to This ]

    I freakin' love you.

    You're so awesome.

    I love this poem.

    Thanks for making me horny, by the way o.o
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by mmmb0p | [ Reply to This ]
      From lines one and two, I get the impression that it is the words that are uttered from the writers lips that become a fore runner to the state of intimacy that begins to unfold between the couple in line three.

    When hands start moving upwards on the thighs and there is little or no resistence, there is but one result; Intercourse! Nice work girl. Baafuo
    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by Nightrider | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece is oh so eloquent indeed. i love your choice of diction here andrya. i think with this piece, a lot of people will see what ive known all along- you got boatloads of talent in just your pinkie, and it shows. i love the way the piece flows. it was absolutely brilliant. truly well done.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      heyy! this is the one you were talking about..?! I've been waiting for it haha.. i love it. my favvoorritteesstt part = Tongue twirling delirium, move my hips
    into a slow grind, skin on skin,
    clichéd axioms, provoked sensations
    as individual as a fingerprint.

    and the last line really closed it well. Yey to english class? haha, yes.. i recognize some of those words, anyways it was delightful. good job bum!
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by Lova_Star | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't get this. the images confuse me-i know this is a sexual piece, but it just isn't there. just my 2 censt, feel free to take it or leave it.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      See? You’re a closet choke chick. Lolfull!

    Dudge- thys was so distinguished and just miraculously thought out and just wow... I think I want to marry it- or eat it... Possibly just lick it because it looks to my eye to taste good on my tongue... It made me high- I’ma go lie down... Peace, love and... stuff... ~-me
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      All I have to say is WOW.. Your words are so amazingly expressed. This is an amazing write. I mean I never seen anyone on this site write as fantastically as you. You my girl are TALENTED. You should write your own book, or get one of your pieces in a newspaper article. I am serious.
    I am so speechless.
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]

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