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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: From The Top Downdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1198
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1233



    Description:
       She moves me to this. I have such emotions I need to relate. I hope this is seen as a indulgence I crave.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrom The Top Downdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Locks cascade as a purposeful stream, down the neck so divine.
    It pauses to pay homage to the shoulders, curves that soon will be mine.

    Piercing, however innocent eyes, allow me to peek within.
    As innocently as a siren, in their glow, I swim.

    Jaw square and set, as a pyramidís keystone.
    Its vigor is deceiving, for their soundness is honed.

    The beauty of the neck, lends credence its support.
    To hold aloft such beauty, and invite my rapport.

    Oh! The breasts, the nourishment of babes,
    As perfect an accent, as a sentimental rolling glade.

    The subtle tautness of the belly, whence life begins.
    Speaks voluminously your fire, allowing a tentative chagrin.

    Hips so sublime, voluptuously in tune.
    As in their aura, my infatuation, I swoon.

    The pungent, yet ambrosia of your flower, my desire.
    Utopianly it beckons my lust, a piercing fire.

    Legs so steadfast, as stanchions of steel,
    Collectively grasp my future, I reel.

    Your feet, so tender as a loverís first kiss
    Hold firm the structure, my love, my abyss.





    Submitted on 2005-02-07 23:05:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I absolutly love the way you use your wording, its a very nice peice, you are a good writer.

    I hope you keep your talent up, it will take you far.
    | Posted on 2007-07-18 00:00:00 | by Fadeintoreality | [ Reply to This ]
      This is all I have read of yours, as of this comment, but it definitely makes me want to read everything else.

    Usually, just on a personal level, i hate form and structure, but this is one of the few that makes me forget. It flows in a way that really [censored] good spoken word flows...i am hearing it rather than reading it.

    subject matter, of course, makes me happy. specifically, your reference to the hair makes me wish i had thought of it first. perfect.
    And like I said, the only downside for me is the rhyme, but my mind just glances over it.
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by notune | [ Reply to This ]
      this i really like its great to know some one apreciates the fine art of the female body this pice really is anice one good job my dear dear sir.

    xoxo
    that girl
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay are you ready? All I have for you is one word...
    WOW
    I think you might enjoy some of my poetry and i have seen the way you comment and i love your honnesty...so please, leave me a comment... :)
    xoxox
    Reeses
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]
      Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. My only comment is that "Utopianly" doesn't flow as well as the rest of the poem: it's a little too long syllable-wise. But everything else in this poem is absolutely wonderful. Ausome job! :3
    | Posted on 2005-04-07 00:00:00 | by Ajyra | [ Reply to This ]
      beauty captured in words. The way the words fit together make me jealous. You could have been a little more consistent with the rhyme scheme, but I'm not picking nits here. Overcome, that is what I am. I know exactly how you feel. Great job...now I'm gonna cry...
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by LonelyorLost | [ Reply to This ]
      i read your works and, you write like a veteran poet and I have much to learn from you! your strong grasp and utilization of the literary devices give free reign to thos poem and it is as if it took flight and carried your msg of love thank you for the beautiful piece. really.

    cheers,
    rach
    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by wilted_ | [ Reply to This ]
      Must be love. The way you describe her almost brings tears to my eyes. Ben, you really are an amazing writer. I have no doubt that if you try, you could be published. I love this poem's flow. The words make me think of a stream, gentle, perfect. Beautiful poetry. This is why they call poetry an art. Another one fo your poems going in my faves. Oh, and I'm stalking you now. :P
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by Areinaka | [ Reply to This ]
      nice poem...very hot and lusty but at the same time there was a sweetness about it...
    good luck with the loving:) for a hetero man (no offence) you sure know how to describe:)
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by neonlights | [ Reply to This ]
      You described every peice of her with such tenderness and care but you also described your lust for every inch of her. absolutley wonderful. God i miss that feeling and i miss having someone feel that way about me. I became lost in the emotions of this peice and even minutes later i feel like im still in a tranze. i am defenitly reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by Ann | [ Reply to This ]
      what a lucky lucky lady she is and what a lucky man you are to have found such a "perfect" lady.
    (I write perfect while thinking of that saying "no one is perfect, until you fall in love with them."

    I loved the use of words here it wasnt the same old two step you see in other love poems. this kind of had me envisioning a wedding night. beautiful my friend...beautiful.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...thats just freaking beautiful! i couldn't have said it better myself and i probably never could... this poem flows soooo nicely and sucked me in before i knew what happened and all i could really do was sit here in total shock wish i were in love again so i had someone to write such beatiful thing about! nicw worg! ...rock...ash
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by foreverevolt | [ Reply to This ]
      Boooohooohoooohooooo ...I didnt want to read this the first time ....so i gathered myself and came back to it ...Its sooooo sweet ....And im not going to put anything intelligent here ...because im crying ..and sobbing and all that [censored] i hate ...:D
    I love the flow ..I love the wording ....
    *sigh*
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      That is so hot. I wish I new a man that could actually carry through on a love like that. You have a very good gift for conveying a woman's body, almost as if it were your temple. Very well done.
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by St. Agatha | [ Reply to This ]
      so beautiful...that is so refreshing to read a poem about the love a man feels for a woman that is so genuine. i would like to see more o these. is it indeed lovely to see a man writer unshameful about his love...sigh...
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]


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