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    dots Submission Name: The eveningdots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 891
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 428


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    dotsThe eveningdots

    The evening was dark
    wind swayed the leaves to a rhythmic swing
    made a mellow mournful music
    that turned the night mute

    Then, all doors closed
    leaving behind one open window
    with a knowing ear
    that heard everything

    pangs of pulses

    sighs of breaths

    sounds that put the world to sleep
    was heard

    Submitted on 2005-02-08 00:53:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      So do you remember why you were felt depressed when
    you wrote this. It is not in and of itself a depressing
    poem. However there have been times when I too
    just felt of a mood. Then in the quiet of gathering gloom
    I was led to melancholy contemplation.

    The evening was dark
    wind swayed the leaves to whisper
    a mellow mournful music
    that turned the mute night

    Then, all doors closed
    leaving behind one open window
    with a knowing ear
    that heard everything

    pangs of pulses

    sighs of breaths

    sounds that put the world to sleep
    were heard
    | Posted on 2012-09-29 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good. The wording is really peaceful. It's like I could fall asleep while listening to someone read it. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by blue_pixie_dust | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree it paints the picture well. very peaceful and almost still. nice with the wordplay inside the lines. take care and write on.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece paint a vivd mental picture...
    i felt peaceful just reading it...
    it makes me want to climb to the top of a mountain and fall alseep stargazing on a cliff...
    nice work! rock ...ash
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by foreverevolt | [ Reply to This ]

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