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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The breathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: webdevil
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 113/105/43
    Words: 13
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 740
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 87



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe breathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Time
    may cease
    however we remain
    for the breath
    is of God.




    Submitted on 2005-02-08 07:14:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't think it needs to be longer. I like minimalism, but everyone already knows that. I agree with this in a sense, but in others I don't. I won't trouble you with that though. I enjoyed this. Never let anyone convince you into lengthening anything if you're satisfied. I don't get it when people criticize what case letters are and such. That's your choice. Unless it's a blatant grammatical error, it's up to the poet. Great punctuation isn't going to save a bad poem.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      nope, no need to add to this piece at all. the poetic theme is simple in nature because it is uncomplicated truth, and is effectively presented in an uncomplicated manner. well done. i enjoyed every little bit in a big way.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      You open the way to a lot of thought and interpretation in this piece...its quite short and could easily be developed into a longer and more profound piece with a little work: But in regards to basic poetic structure: may i suggest that you make the start of each line a capital...for some reason its easier on the eyes and makes more of a statement out of each line rather than just words put together...thats all from me...Dave
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by littlecoombs | [ Reply to This ]


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