Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The breathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: webdevil
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 113/105/43
    Words: 13
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 87



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe breathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Time
    may cease
    however we remain
    for the breath
    is of God.




    Submitted on 2005-02-08 07:14:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't think it needs to be longer. I like minimalism, but everyone already knows that. I agree with this in a sense, but in others I don't. I won't trouble you with that though. I enjoyed this. Never let anyone convince you into lengthening anything if you're satisfied. I don't get it when people criticize what case letters are and such. That's your choice. Unless it's a blatant grammatical error, it's up to the poet. Great punctuation isn't going to save a bad poem.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      nope, no need to add to this piece at all. the poetic theme is simple in nature because it is uncomplicated truth, and is effectively presented in an uncomplicated manner. well done. i enjoyed every little bit in a big way.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      You open the way to a lot of thought and interpretation in this piece...its quite short and could easily be developed into a longer and more profound piece with a little work: But in regards to basic poetic structure: may i suggest that you make the start of each line a capital...for some reason its easier on the eyes and makes more of a statement out of each line rather than just words put together...thats all from me...Dave
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by littlecoombs | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    45873

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Love written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Dream written by closetpoet
    prison written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    mimicry written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry