Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soldierdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 695
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 504



    Description:
       writing this for a friend his father died in the war.
    this i s the rough draft please comment . i just want it to be good for him,


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoldierdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This a soldier
    thats fight a battle
    and dies
    his family gets some money
    but that don't bring back the loved ones
    that died in a war for oil
    while we already have our own problems
    on are own soil.
    This soldier gets cold
    he runs out of breath.
    They try there best
    but now he lays thiere and rests
    His family gets some money
    but that will never bring back
    the father and the lover and the friend.




    Submitted on 2005-02-08 20:25:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow how deep im sure your friend will love it and its not are its our and its their instead of there hope this helps a bit
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by Georgia Gurl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    45971

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry