Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Motherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadlydarkdevil
    Elite Ratio:    5.35 - 241/173/40
    Words: 219
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 272
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1583



    Description:
       Reflection on a picture-it's an assignment from a class


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMotherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nothing in this world
    Can compare to a mother's pain
    Seeing children wiped from society
    Like a naughty stain

    Blamed for vicious circumstances
    Determined before their birth
    Put-down, ridiculed, and bullied
    They begin to question their worth

    Faced with society's censure
    They're unable to see the love
    Radiating from their mother
    They're her angels, sent from above

    With an innate sense of fierceness
    She'll protect them to her death
    Cursing the world that hurt them
    With every living breath

    Poverty is not a sin
    Not a circumstance you choose
    Every child should live with pride
    Then there's no way a mother could lose

    The future is yours for the making
    No matter how you were born
    Riches there for the takng
    Dreams that won't ever be shorn

    In every mother's hopes
    Are her children's dreams
    She works on a foundation
    Building suporting beams

    Nothing in this world
    Can compare to a mother's pain
    But as long as she is living
    Her children will fell no blame

    For poverty is not a choice
    Nor can it be a sin
    Arms wrapped around her children
    The mother will always win

    She'll carry all the burden
    She'll shoulder all the hurt
    So that her precious children
    Will not be pushed in the dirt




    Submitted on 2005-02-08 20:56:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, just as I remember mama. I enjoyed "MOTHER" it was lilting just as a happy song should be. Your 2-4 rhyme is great.
    Now, give us a poem about Father. I remember him as a great guy too.
    Keep your mind to the thought and your pen toi the papyrus (lol)
    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a wonderful poem. its touching and very true. you're words convey a sort of desperation coming from a mother that I hadn't really thought about before.
    as a concept i can' t find anything wrong with this piece. you've conveyed a strong feeling well. a couple things seemed a tiny bit off to me though. you're simile in line 4 is "a naughty stain". it just doesn't make sense to me. maybe "a nasty stain" would flow a little better. but im just being picky. and i think you mean "feel" not "fell" in the last line of the eighth stanza.
    great job again. its amazing how youve taken a well-worn subject and put it into the eyes of someone we rarely think about, although they are the most affected.
    good job
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by jonsmithy | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.