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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wish I could hate you!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Gothik
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 94/133/31
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 1068
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 583



    Description:
       I don't know what every body will think about this, but to me it's a relief.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWish I could hate you!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Time flowing in my head,
    Making me feel like I'm dead
    Trying to forget you
    Trying to hate you

    For too long I've been loving you, and now you've left me down on the ground, looking at me from above like if you were God. You've tried to change me, you've tried to love me. I loved you so much, I almost killed myself for you. Now I hate you, I wish you could just die and let me live. Or you could just live your life and let me die. All I want from you is to let me go. Go back to my own self. Breathing again. Die again...




    Submitted on 2005-02-09 03:31:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      breathe in, breathe out... you know, venting is good for the soul. when you get everything built up with no release ~POP!~ there goes neko's head.

    this is a nice little piece but i think you got lazy at the end. (stanza-wise)
    you are an awesome writer so keep it up, i enjoy reading your works!

    luv ya,
    jess
    | Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      Had to let everything out on this one, huh? One of those times when there is just SOOO much on your mind, you HAVE to get rid of it. Say how you really feel for once. The mask has to come off at one point or another...man, I just remembered the first time I ever talked to you. I was being such a [censored] to you...and you were already feeling like [censored]...hell you had to of been, the whole reason I was talking to you was...forget it. I don't know if I have ever appologized to you for that, but I am sorry. I just didn't know you...and Aki was crying...and Jess was upset...even though Kim said nothing to me, I knew she was upset...and I am a very loyal friend. And I really didn't want anything to happen to you, because that is just not cool.

    Sorry...I got a little distracted...

    There are a lot of people who can relate, not me personaly...well, not in the same sense I guess. I have had a couple shakey friendships that have left me feeling this way.

    Take care and much love,
    Bon
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like that one :) i know how it feels to feel those kind of feelings...it's really neat though how you put it.keep up the good work.jus be urself
    | Posted on 2005-04-17 00:00:00 | by Jeka | [ Reply to This ]
      The second stanza seems a bit clamped together, but it does kinda give it some voice. Or maybe I'm just crazy? Um, I think this is a pretty good job and am going to read your other things.
    | Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      i would suggest that u should change the structure it doesn't look good on me...and it's hard to read on the second stanza because the lines were long...and i think it's not "breeding" it's "breathing"..i'm not sure yet but u could check it out. this is a sad one but i like it because i can feel the emotions and i can totaly relate...thanks for sharing.
    jen
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


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