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    dots Submission Name: "THE MYSTIQUEof the CRITIQUE"dots

    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 733
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1100

       Just alittle Thank You for the comments and insight I 've been given from all those who've read LameMansTerms-Thanks!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"THE MYSTIQUEof the CRITIQUE"dots

    Some that come, seek the critique.
    Hoping that others become a fan.
    Literaries litter the night,
    waking to scream the verdict.
    No matter how wrong or write.
    It's why we're here,
    writers like magnicat, sinmore and lost in beers.
    tornskirt, silentwhisper, ellisa and i bleed ink,
    they're only here to help you think.
    Rhea, and spoken, lukewarm and ghostchild.
    cabaret cat, rainmaker and crooked smile.
    All exchanging friendly banter.
    wordslinger, rixfarmgirl and quietclamor.
    Realpoet to poetic
    back and forth goes the rehtoric.
    Cigarettesmoke, bent and paulieD.
    skilessbastard, spoken, lyterallou and ebflannery.
    Sometimes comments are hard to swallow...
    I think that was the intention of the webmaster.
    It is why we are here to continue to learn.
    I am a fan of all of yours,
    Thanks for all your help,

    l a m e m a n s t e r m s

    Submitted on 2005-02-09 17:26:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well I am not in this cause I haven't been here for that long and this is the first one of yours that I have had the pleasure of reading, but I hope to read more in the near future. This was good and I think that it was nice of you to thank all the poepl who have helped you to better understand you ability to write. I really do. I mean a thank you is impressive but a written one is even more impressive. How do I get to be on one? Kidding I am just here to help as best I can whether I get thanked for it or not.
    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by ForsakenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah I like this also. Who can't like a "thank you". This is the second tribute piece I have read on here so far. And I must say it's always cool seeing people within a piece of art being recognised.

    Nice Job.

    mister fizzle
    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. I've never read any of your work on here, or come across your profile for that matter. But I must say that I am impressed by this piece. It's very sweet. There are so many wonderful writers on this site and it's nice to see a piece like this recognizing them. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Anyhoo..much love to ya. :-)
    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
      well this would be a LOT better had my name been put in it ~eh hem~ lol. just kidding. yeah comments can be very hard to swallow specially when you post something you think is really good, or at least pretty good, and the only feedback you get is how boring or cliché it was
    i liked this though so no need to think im leading up to tell ya [censored] lol. i think its pretty neat actually how you used a LOT of peoples names in this. It makes it so much more personal to the reader.
    i wouldnt change anything, cept maybe throw my name in there hehehehe

    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very cool and clever. I also love and appreciate the well-thought, well-intended critique. No question, they've made me a better poet. If I were to mention everybody that has made me better I'd never be able to make all the rhymes.

    K...I wanna make your next one, so I have a couple things here...one - and this one is very subjective, I think you'd be better off without the quotation marks on "write". It's a clever word play but loses a little of the edge when you "highlight" the fact that it's a play on words. Two, rehteric should be rhetoric.

    Again, very clever rhyming and btw, clever name too. I'll read on...
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]

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