you've heard this before, grammer. i feel like you're not feeling anything. you're just giving out a first reaction to a feeling that should spiral into a thousand other feelings. Its like you're scared to admit to a great amount of pain. My only advice is to let go of the idea that people are going to judge you on having feelings. I think there is great promise in this though...in you.
some grammer. other wise i guess it sounded pretty good. nice word choices and I must say good flow, well to me any way. One question though, why such a big picture? I mean here I am and I am about to go and scroll down and then bam in my face a big ol' green fetis floating across my screen, scared te [censored] outta me. Welcome to our little site, if you want some advice, dontread my writing. I hate it so there for I try to spare as man people as possible. Hope you have fun here and you'll like it. Kacey
I agree, there are some grammer issues. The issues are easily fixable, I would luv to look at it again when it is revised, so please let me know. Aside from that, it was really good. And don't worry, you will find love. Don't lose hope, for when you lose hope you lose the desire to look for your love. Good job.
Perhaps the grammer could use some revisions. This has the makings of a good poem, however I found myself looking for the next grammatical error or spelling error. It took away from the meaning you were trying to convey. There is a very good poem here waiting to be cleaned up. I look foward to a revision should you feel it necessary.