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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: For Me To Help (SP)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Silencer
    ASL Info:    25/m/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 52/66/29
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 838
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 717



    Description:
       hmm...a love poem...not much more to describe


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor Me To Help (SP)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    If ever you find yourself in need of a friend...
    Come to me so we can start a friendship that will never end.
    If you need to cry...
    Come to me, please don't be shy.
    If you need help...
    Don't be afraid, come to me so I can help make your problems go away.
    If you need someone to hold you...
    Consider my arms your virture.
    If ever you find yourself alone...
    Call me and I'll be there to give my conscience out for loan.
    If you want to talk...
    Get me so we can converse away on an endless walk.
    If all you want is love...
    Come and get me so we can fly away on the wings of a dove.

    -John Blankenship




    Submitted on 2005-02-09 21:23:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. This is so wonderful and promising. I have to disagree with BenCollier, I don't think you need to make any changes. Well maybe one, maybe breaking it into stanza's. I know I've probably told you this before, you have a beautiful talent. I'm so glad you choose to share your talents with the rest of us.
    Great job.

    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-02-10 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      A promising poem. I think it needs some work, perhaps some metaphorical entries. I fully understand your meaning, however it is a strained read. Check the spelling on some of the verses. It seems like you did this quickly. Expand your thoughts and your feeling, pour your soul into it. For love is all about total surrender into anothers life. Please do not let my critiques disuade you, you have talent please continue.
    Ben
    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    46148

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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