Description: Any kind of feedback is appreciated!!! XOXO
Take Me Home -------------------------------------------
Take me home.
Where the heart is.
Can't stand to explain myself one more time.
Taking with me only what I can carry.
My heart in one hand,
My soul in the other.
When was breathing an obstacle?
Line up the greens, blues, and grays and tell me what you see.
Your eyes go far deeper than mine ever will.
Restless nights have yet to reveal disclosed information.
Silence has yet to catch us at our best.
This is a powerful poem and so full of images. I particularly liked the lines: My heart in one hand, My soul in the other. This is a very good write for a poet who is only 16 years old. Keep up the good work.
Your eyes go deeper than mine ever will. I had to read this like three times to begin to get an understanding. This is good stuff. You're only 16? That's dangerous! I like the heart in one hand, the soul in the other. That is indeed all anyone can carry...That's why I care not to add unecessary issue to my life...Good write. Keep doing what ya doing.
I know this has alreay been said but I really like the part where you wrote.Taking with me only what I can carry. My heart in one hand, My soul in the other. When was breathing an obstacle?.I think this was a great way to expess thyoses emotions.good read keep up the good work.take care,Jamie.
this was great only suggestion would be to break it down in stansas as well as a little more imagery as you have a great piece this would only make it better maybe try reading poetry or any other i submitted no bad intent given just a thought great piece sandman