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    dots Submission Name: I Shouldn't Be the One Hiding.dots

    Author: omnipotent
    ASL Info:    17/F/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 82/63/23
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 986

       I wrote this during a pretty confusing time in my life. Enjoy!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Shouldn't Be the One Hiding.dots

    I shouldn’t be the one hiding shamefully crouched between the thickets.
    Nor should I be the one smiling from ear to ear.
    My pitied ways are growing tired,
    But I know no other method.
    Normalcy is just an excuse for those who have not processed the information in its entirety.
    It would have been nice, though.
    To have something stable when I can't seem to keep my feet on the ground.
    I cleared the area to give you some air,
    But you took it and ran away.
    My lungs needs to air you took with you what seems like years ago.
    I could have stared into his eyes and seen nothing but you.
    Welcome to my mind.
    Placed on my pedestal,
    But you were never there.
    Who do you think you are?
    No one could take this from me.
    You seem to have done it far too effortlessly.
    Ran for cover when I heard the British were coming.
    But I shouldn't be the one hiding.

    Submitted on 2005-02-10 10:04:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is an unrhyming poem that seems to flow really well. Just to be sure...is this about war? It says "Ran for cover when I heard the British were coming". I'm pretty sure it is. Anyways, it is really well done. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      The ending was great. I like the metaphore and I get where your coming from. Some of your lines are a bit wordy though. Other than that this poem is really good.
    | Posted on 2005-02-10 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]
      Your use of metephor is great. I really liked how it ended. Another good job. I am also glad you enjoy my writing because I do enjoy yours.
    | Posted on 2005-02-10 00:00:00 | by Silver20G | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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