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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soldier (final draft)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 736
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1180



    Description:
       This for a good friend. he lost his dad in the war.
    his family is just messed up right now.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoldier (final draft)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    This a soldier
    thatís fight a battle
    and dies
    his family gets some money
    but that don't bring back the loved ones
    that died in a war for oil
    while we already have are own problems
    on are own soil.
    This soldier gets cold
    he runs out of breath.
    They try there best
    but now he lays there and rests
    His family gets some money
    but that will never bring back
    the father and the lover and the friend.

    This is a soldier
    thatís fight a battle
    and dies
    this family cries
    they can't even say bye
    to the father, the lover and the friend.
    They once had.

    This family is so sad
    they can't grab what they once had
    the father, the lover and the friend.
    These boys start to act bad
    all they want is there dad.

    This is a soldier
    thatís fights a battle
    and dies
    for a government that pays money for a life that was lost in the battle.
    But it will never be enough to
    bring pack the
    the father, the lover, and the friend.




    Submitted on 2005-02-10 19:42:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      pack = back in the last stanza. well u got a point there but i don't like the simplicity in the language. it's way too undeveloped honestly. its a good idea and I can see what u r thinking but no it didnt work in any effective way for me
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by neonlights | [ Reply to This ]


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