The first cut is the weakest
Not sure how mych pressure to apply
Curiosly watching the blood trickle
Watching if fall to the floor
Forming your lips into
The unfamiliar curves of satisfaction
forgetting about what happened
Focusing on the pain
Putting the knife back in the drawer
Between the socks, next to the scissors
Knowing it's okay to cry now
You let the tears fall on your lips
Stinging them as you look for your chapstick
Trying to think of a lie to tell them
Not ably to think of one now
You decide to sleep on it
And let the tears keep falling
as you watch the blood stain the sheets
| I LOVE THIS POEM!Its one of my favorite ones to.Ur very talented.The only thing i can say that u did wrong was spell able wrong.But other than that its great.Its sorda how i feel.Like i cut and then u can finally let it all out.But ur not crying b/c it hurt ur crying b/c of everything thats going on.my favorite lines were knowing its ok to cry now, letting your tears fall on your lips.Good job!||| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by suicidal_chick | [ Reply to This ] || to go ahead and knock out the bad i only saw two things and they were grammar. on the second line first stanza you typed mych instead of much and eigth stanza first line you typed ably instead of able. |
ok to the good. my favorite line was
"Stinging them as you look for your chapstick
Trying to think of a lie to tell them"
cuz i know that feeling.
I actually started to cry when reading this because it reminds me deeply of how my life was a few months back. i loved this write so much i shall add to favorites.
|| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by slntfirflm | [ Reply to This ] || talking about cutting yourself? except on the lips? well you could of gotton more detailed i think. but this is what i think. usually people cut on arms or wrists. you said lips? because maybe the lips dd something bad or strange? dont know. my view on it. liked it though. |
you decide to sleep on it
meaning your cutting if thats what your talking about?
confusing at the end. but it was ok.
spelled much wrong in the beginning. no one else pointed it out.
|| Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ] |