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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Naked Wordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1495
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 552



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNaked Wordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My words walked naked down a highway,
    but crashes ensued,
    and the traffic stopped:
    my words were dangerously beautiful,
    so I clothed them in metaphor,
    nothing flowery--
    the literary equivalent of a little black dress.
    They were happy
    when people saw their grace
    when others didn't find them brazen,
    but if you get to know them
    if you learn to love them
    if they love you in return,
    you might get to see their beauty
    as I birthed them.





    Submitted on 2005-02-10 23:49:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm... words; like a baby almost... like a baby in the way that you thought of them, and they were a child; you worked them out, and they were in grade school; you wrote them down, and they were a teen; and you edited and revised, and now they are grown up and sexy- but you had to mute them a little- and in doing so, it felt wrong- and you want to strip them down and lay them bare for all to see. right? just what i got from it. *md*
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...that was one hell of a kick-ass opening line. The rest of the piece was terrific as well, but I'm such a sucker for those lines that just stick to your mind...

    Two thumbs up chica!

    Loved it
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      that's a tempting offer, your ending I mean. and a really good metaphor by the way. I like this litle piece. I enjoyed reading it very much. already as I read it in your journal. I kept an eye on those even as I was busy with learning.
    | Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      "So I clothed them in metaphor
    Nothing flowery
    The literary equivalent of a little black dress"
    That's just lovely. You give us the equivalent of what it would look like. Your once naked words which are now clothed by you, simply, yet effective. I really thought the flow of this was excellent. It seems like this had a great transition, just like you "flowery"ing up those words. :) Great job. I really liked it in your journal and I really love it here.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-02-13 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      And that's the way of writing, and you got it again Amy. Very well written. I especially like the idea of "clothing in metaphor". This one is warm, bright and so soft. Smooth. And lovely.

    Now I know I want to stay here. Even if I won't write anything at least sensible.

    :*

    PS. Beautiful dress and a beautiful lady.
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this...the metaphor, the imagery was just beautiful. I can't say much, but that I am impressed...this is one of the most original pieces I have read.
    Rubi
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Rubi_Roja | [ Reply to This ]
      Just about the time I think I've read the best of your work, I read something else of yours that I think is even more remarkable.
    You have a gift for stating universal truths in beautiful metaphor...dressing up the unpalatable nakedness with smoothe elegance. Even in your more raw pieces, I find hints of universal truths and wisdom. Of course I have read a few rants too, but this one is lovely as is. Have I ever told you that I have the hardest time commenting on your work? I rarely find anything to change.
    jan
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      ah, the naked words attracting too much attention so throw a black dress on them so as not to cause accidents and such poem. God Amy, you're so damn creative.

    Just like a mysterious person, your words don't take kindly to strangers. If one is lucky enough to get in, they might come to understand these words. I like that. It's almost like saying that if one takes the time to understand a poet they might get to understand his work and the hidden beauty within it.

    Great work again.
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      wow what a good poem. Its true, that you cannot just write the exact thing and call it beauty. You have to use your skills to make them beautiful. The "naked" words become clothed and beautiful when you give "birth" to them. I like the imagery. You are obviously a good poet. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by sjayant | [ Reply to This ]
      I've seen this before too, in your journal. I like how you have them moving and they're causing accidents.
    The black dress, represents metaphor, nothing fancy,
    of course. I like this write, but don't think of you as naked, can't go there, I think my attraction is not a fugue but a solo, and you know where it's going,
    and that I love you.
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      another oldie but goodie, Amy. this is just striking. describing your words as walking naked down the highway is very erotic, really, and then clothing them in a basic black dress... sultry and sexy, i say. i see the beauty in your words always, little black dress or not!! ;)
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Who the hell a I to comment on this,-don't even try to put me in that position "

    "My words were dangerously beautiful
    So I clothed them in metaphor
    Nothing flowery
    The literary equivalent of a little black dress"
    -that's about the point I wa rendered impotent and floundering about.
    Amy, this is truly beautiful,-especially those last lines
    "You might get to see their beauty
    As I birthed them"
    You constantly amaze me, -and bedazzle me-where you get the time and motivation to do what you do, -is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy beyond my ken
    Sweet!
    Sally
    | Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      your words are victimized
    but futility and reason
    by common prejudice and law
    and by the people

    this was beautiful, lovely and graceful all at the same time, kinda relative to my piece "the musical infant". good job soldier
    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by serpentarius | [ Reply to This ]


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