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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "THINGS YOU LEFT BEHIND"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 998



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"THINGS YOU LEFT BEHIND"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    A broken heart,
    a broken home.
    A part of Me thats now ingrown.
    It's what you left behind..
    An empty glass,
    an empty man,
    a torn page in your past.
    An obsession,
    that became my depression.
    It's what you'll find.
    Since you left me behind.....

    A lipstick case,
    the man you once adored.
    The look on my face
    as you walked out the door.
    It's what you left behind.....
    And how it was kept.
    To stand the test of time,
    without any time left.
    I can still smell you.
    I'm losing my mind.
    These are things I've found...
    Since you left...Me behind.... ~L.t
    -----I/I-------!-------I<-------c=------------------------




    Submitted on 2005-02-11 01:21:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very strong somber piece. Having read several of your poems now, I can say that I really like your style. There is a lot of sadness (and I can hardly write anything without it either) yet you don't sound whiney. This is another example of pointing out your feelings as fact, with just enough emotion to tug at our hearts but not too much to where it sounds like "poor me".

    I'm not a big fan of rhyme, but somehow you pull it off without the typical empty feeling I get from it. Nice work again...
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      see now this is the LT i know. this is really good. provokes a lot of emotion. all really short sentences, which i think works really well, tells so much in this.
    It's what you left behind..
    An empty glass,
    an empty man,
    a torn page in your past.

    i think this would have to be my favorite part. I know you dont like the emotion being brought out in you right now, but its really good writing. its good to expand your subject matter as you have been doing.
    keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]
      had a pillow case i once hoped would smell of her for ever.
    than it i started to fall behind.

    while i appreciate you and your writings this not a welcome flashback at this time.
    it provoked emotions and reminds me of a few of us wondering about our destiny in this area of life

    good cure this writing thing

    paulie d
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by paulie d | [ Reply to This ]
      Profoundly sad. The real pity is how this type of misfortune is so often self-perpetuating. If the speaker in this poem is dealing with the problem, perhaps he will be the one to break the cycle. But that's probably the subject of another poem another time.

    > An empty glass,
    > an empty man,

    Excellent image here.

    > A lipstick case,
    > the man you once adored.

    > I can still smell you.

    Same for these. I just saw a thing on TV about the power of smell to bring back memories. Very fitting to include it here. I like this piece. Just wish it didn't represent reality. Thanks for sharing.
    bent
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by bent | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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