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my dungeon


Author: snacky fish
ASL Info:    31/male/FL
Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 377 /472 /111
Words: 119
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1060
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 766



Description:


this poem is alot like "my closet" but it has a little different messege. i hope it reads well and paints a dark picture in the readers mind. if you like please read my closet because it is like this one. thanks and take care.


my dungeon



My heart is my dungeon
Filled with ghost and ghouls
Damp, dark, and grey
Where I bring my favorite fools

Cold Stones and candle light
Within your eyes I see it flicker
Follow me deeper within
Where the walls and shadows whisper

The screams can be our love song
Within this chamber we can be alone
In a bed circled by candles
looking into a mirror framed in bone

This is where i can keep you
Keep you forever and a day
Still, meek, and timeless
Beautiful and locked within grey

My heart is my dungeon
Within waits ghosts and ghouls
With a charming smile I invite you
Where we can be dark romantic fools




Submitted on 2005-02-11 11:28:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  A bit like being in love with a psychopath,or having one love you.

My heart is my dungeon
Within waits ghosts and ghouls
With a charming smile I invite you
Where we can be dark romantic fools

- I found it touching and sweet. Yes,okay,so I am a freak,have always been attracted to tortured souls...
A romantic experience I'd want to live!


| Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
  Very Gothic,very dark,but romantic all the same. There's also a deeper interpretation,that the 'I' in this piece is afraid to express his feelings for fear of rejection.
| Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
  I really enjoyed this poem. A dark and dangerous love affair.
" The screams can be our love song
Within this chamber we can be alone
In a bed circled by candles
looking into a mirror framed in bone"
I find this stanza haunting and beautiful.

| Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Rubi_Roja | [ Reply to This ]
  Its great, I really enjoyed it. The romance and mystery came together beautifully. Its truly great. Congrats! Keep writing.
Blessed Be!
| Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
  i really, really liked this, especially:
Where the walls and shadows whisper

you were right, it does paint a pretty dark picture, but sometimes that is exaclty what the reader is looking for. the title will draw those to it easily.
the last line is espically nice. its the inite into your heart, but gives a warning that its not always safe. nice read
| Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
  What a silky smooth dark poem. I dont know if it's my hormones or just the descriptions but...this had a stimulating affect on me. hmmm must be my hormones lol

content wise...the last stanza did break up the rhythm just a tad but still it wasn't bad enough to distract from the beauty.
| Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  THis is a very superb poem flow is lovely but the message is very very strong and powerful. Writers usually are romantic. But is a more dim kind of way. We write from our feelings and live in emotions. Your discriptions are wonderful i could see everything in my mind. i will hopefully read more of yours

Semper Fidelis,
Christopher
| Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]


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