Constricted
and afflicting
I'm addicted
to the pain- it's sickening.
it comes and goes
heavanly scent
then its under side shows.
grasps around your throat
you gasp,
you begin to choke.
you reach for this nuse
but truth cant lose
not to abuse.
No stronger meaning
than within this silent screaming.
Again I walk this road alone.
Again I must do this on my own.
This was good. I dont know what you were trying to draw at the end under your poem. Anyways, I know this feeling all too well. I do se how we suffer from the same thing. Over analyzing everything in life. I do it all the time even when I hang out with people. This poem I think is about being alone like normal and bored off your mind. The same routine thing over and over again. Just wanting it to end you think bad thought of suicide and drugs to make it all go away. It's hard but im getting through it little by little hoping it will end. -james
I like this one, it's hella true. I like how you say, I'm addicted to the pain- it's sickening. it comes and it goes heavanly scent I feel that. good writting here I'll read more later.
Wow... I don't get it at all but I really feel bad that you only have one comment at the end of the recents!
So, I'm going to try. I really am.
So... I have an idea for the structure. I think it'd be really good if it was just a kind of choppy structure. Here's my suggestion:
Constricted and afflicting I'm addicted to the pain- it's sickening. it comes and it goes heavanly scent then under side shows. Grasps around your throat you gasp, you begin to choke. you reach for this nuse but truth cant lose not to abuse. No stronger meaning than within this silent screaming. Again I walk this road alone. Again I must do this on my own.
So wow, I like that. Just a suggestion. I think the choppy structure represents choppy confused thoughts, but the "on my own." at the end completes it.
Submission Name: "(Home Sweet) ALONE"
