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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: to the topdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sickly
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 544/537/203
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 550



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsto the topdots
    -------------------------------------------


    stay blind
    to the open fear
    outside
    that's something real
    having taken your heart
    you've fallen apart
    i've got to keep on moving
    leaving you
    seeing through it all
    i sure do
    for fear is where i go
    open up your eyes
    the questions have been ironed out
    given time
    and given space
    i pull the strings of self control
    it's no shame for us to part
    it's so easy
    i can see it now
    going right to the top




    Submitted on 2005-02-11 18:09:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great write. Great attitude. Like your coming out and showing them. I hope that when the time comes I manage to do the same. I don't want you to change anything. Perfection is sweet but onlyl found when you don't have to look. Good job. Keep writing I would love to read more.
    Blessed Be.
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
      Good for you! Rebuild and kick it up in their face till they bleed from the nausea... Don’t add periods- maybe some commas here and there- but poetry has an assumed period at the end of every lyne unless other punctuation is there... - Peace, love and unattainable, untrainable circus midgets with hangovers and badd haircuts- ~#6-
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      This is such a convoluted twist of emotion and imagery that it takes some doing to pull it apart and make sense fo it...but then realtionships are often like that, are they not? I have to agree with Zim_zum in that the lack of punctuation and capitalization has the reader struggling right there with you... Now whether I loved, or hated it (and I'm not sure yet) You definitely pulled me into it and made my mind buzz.
    jan
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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