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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bushdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Leala
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 245/299/70
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 375
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 453



    Description:
       I just wrote this in history today. I scratched out the third stanza I had in it cause I dont think it went with this poem.
    It would have been

    "Wake him up,
    shake him a little,
    let him crawl along."

    Do you think it should go in?

    Any other comments? Please rip this apart, help me out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBushdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Does he know;
    where hes going,
    what hes doing,
    how hes looking,
    or when hes living?

    Is he living now
    or yesterday,
    This afternoon
    or tomorrow morning.

    Across the ocean-
    and starry sky,
    are hopes of
    tomorrow and
    yesterday.

    But in his hand-
    within view of his eye
    are the sorrows of now
    and today's reality.




    Submitted on 2005-02-11 18:14:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      excellent work. I agree with sickly and zim, not political very much, unless you speak of our society's tendency to look to the problems of other places instead of looking here and now.
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      it didn't come across to me as overtly political but it is all in the eye of the beholder.there are some punctuation errors but it wasn't to the point where your message was nullified.as far as the stanza that you left out,try it later.good luck and fare well.
    | Posted on 2005-02-11 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]



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