I sat there by the Fire
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Description:
I really dont know I just got done writing it. I guess its one of those pieces were you write and cant stop writing. I really dont know where it came from.
I sat there by the Fire
As I sat there by the fire With its beams warm and bright I contemplate my life. Oh dire A life with never a good night The mind a spiraling emotion Could not fully comprehend that night A night that I was fully tired A night that choose my destinys fight I sat there with the guns loaded tention Trigger ready to fire Knowing full well my life might expire Yet despite the situation I had a conversation with myself The kind of talk that only one can share with Ones self God I said, is there no kind man at heart I waited for a reply which sadly Did not come at the start I hate this life for I am kind Yet this place is to cruel a world For to kind a heart And have seen what no kind man should see Like the rape of the world And her horrible indecency But thats just me Who knows what other tragic storys The world has to offer Yet I dont want to hear about it nor will I bother This gun so horribly stares at me Like a villian Ready for another killing But oh Mighty Lord to you I must confess I want to live I want to live from this horrible mess I want to see my family Oh Lord I want to see my family, once again happy I want to dance, I want to sing I want to live to see another Spring But Evil lurks inside And taints the soul When its easy to find Deppression Forced its will on me that time But destiny fought it off To write this rhyme Now I say to you my Lord What should I do Live Or live with you And what happened next? My Lord answerd |
Submitted on 2005-02-12 04:04:03 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| You know what? I wouldn't change a thing. This is what happens at some point in life. Wrestling with the fear that the world is too cruel a place to withstand the agony. I completly and totally understand. (As I sat there by the fire With its beams warm and bright I contemplate my life.) I like the start, it gives a very descriptive picture of the room you must have sat in time and time again. Watching warm ambers burn while the enemy tries to take over your emotion. Loaded gun sitting at the ready but this is not the ending you truly want. Just an escape from the humm drumm that you have been living. A change of life, scene and or attitude. Then your senses come to you and you do talk with yourself finding later that the thought so hedious has passed as all things do. Wonderful write there kiddo! Way to pour out your true emotion. Keep giving of your thoughts and I will keep reading. Live and Love Life... Peace...  | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by smalltown | [ Reply to This ] | Some verse breaks would make this less intimidating. | I don't think the rhyme helps much. Meter is better than rhyme, I think. Rhyme is distracting and usually sounds corny, unlike meter, which gives it a consistent pulse. The problem here is you have no strong images. You state your life philosophy, which the reader should be able to infer from the poem's content, plot, images, and their conotations. | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Rokhal | [ Reply to This ] | |
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